|Reviews for The Butterfly Fracture|
| Dr. Self Destruct chapter 1 . 8/8/2011
Hello from the Roadhouse!
I really enjoyed the first paragraph. I can sympathize with the narrator in regards to wanting to dream/hallucinate about a certain thing, and yet it always being the last that comes to mind. I think it shows how much he wants to escape to another reality, and how the desire also sits in every person's mind. The image of those desires being a parasite is very powerful, and I think the metaphor is a strong image that's both eerie and true.
I was a bit confused throughout the piece considering how much the narrator's surroundings seem to change, but considering we're in his head and his mental instability, I have a feeling this was intentional. I do kinda like how you toss the reader around, it leaves an air of suspense and keeps me on my toes wondering what's going to happen next. However, I do think if you stop a moment to explain things in a more concrete manner it will make each scene more understandable/memorable and allow the reader to relate with the speaker.
I do like how Emily uses sign language - that's an interesting twist indeed. I'm excited to see how Marcus approaches this hurdle considering how infatuated he is with her and he doesn't know how to use sign language. I also find it cute how he wants to hear her voice, imagining it must sound as beautiful as she looks. I do hope he finds something else about her he likes, because appearance aren't always everything. ;)
| LadyLenore chapter 1 . 8/5/2011
The flow of events is a little confusing, but it works in this situation. A blurring of the line between reality and the surreal is perfectly appropriate for someone suffering from this illness. I'm interested to see where you take this.