|Reviews for Fūjin|
| tomcat941 chapter 1 . 12/8/2012
I enjoyed this, the characterization is interesting. I think i'm correct in thinking that you have personified a form of natural disaster-a tornado or hurricane it seems. The amount of comma's are quite effectively in creating a sense of the character thinking, and it shows that he is almost rambling in his mind. However, there is one sentence that i found a little weird to read- 'I can be a nice guy if I want to, I just usually don't. So I don't.' You definitely don't need the second sentence, as the repetition breaks the sense of the piece. However, i didn't really like the sentence at all. I thinkn 'I could be a nice guy if i wanted to' As that implies the same as what you have written. Of course it is up to you, but maybe think about editing that sentence. Otherwise, it is very good.
| Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 8/11/2011
I actually found myself growing rather fond of this narrator. Something about his I-care-but-I-don't attitude. Also, nice descriptions and metaphors scattered throughout this. Especially the one about noticing raindrops. Little details like that make me smile.
Good job and good luck in WCC!
| Javajive chapter 1 . 8/9/2011
Agree wholeheartedly with Dragon. There is a great element of surprise with this story. Short and sweet and well written. I loved being let in on this bird-eye view as the disaster struck. And of course 'his' laissez faire attitude to the destruction caused.
Great job and good luck with the contest!
| Dragon made me do it chapter 1 . 8/9/2011
Wow really clever idea! And you held out well to slowly reveal it.
I had never in my life thought of a story from the perspective of a personification of a natural disaster. And not only from that perspective, but one that actually seeks to see it from their point of view and avoid demonising the character. I really enjoyed being surprised here! It's rare you find a story that is entirely something you wouldn't have thought of. lovely!
I enjoyed the quirky language you use, particularly to open the story. There was the odd point where I thought the chatty style of writing could be tightened just a tad but it's nothing major.
Great last sentence! "I strew hope in my wake" really says a lot.