|Reviews for Twelve Stars|
| The lone canine chapter 42 . 9/19/2011
I think it's nice that Moll and Kat have a sort of bond that they have right now because, well, it really adds to them as people. They are kind of cute too.
Started off the chapter well and ended it well, with great detail as always and great, writing.
So well done to you!
| Dexter Corvus chapter 35 . 9/19/2011
You update so fast- T_T -I can't keep up!
Anyway, just commenting to let you know that I haven't stopped reading. Awesome chapter as always. I'll try and get caught up again, I promise.
Also, congrats on passing 100 reviews and 70k words. Big achievements!
| kuronekoevan chapter 42 . 9/19/2011
Wow, dead warrior. Cool. xD
I like the description of the encounter. Once in a while it's nice to meet things that breaks the boundaries of logic in 12S.
And... Hecter's dead? Okay, didn't expect that.
Ps. Congrats on gaining the reviews. 100 already, well done. I'm only on my 50th.
| Viera Wing chapter 12 . 9/19/2011
Something went dodgy earlier so I don't know if you got my one review for one of your earlier chapters. In short, I just thought it was really good.
And between that chapter and this, you never let the story down. It really goes so smoothly, and we get to know more about Phoenix and her interesting eccentricities. It really seemed like you put a lot of thought into the development of Phoenix (which, of course, every writer should) and it was very well done. There's nothing much I can really critique about. Style-wise, some might call it a bit simple (eg short paragraphs). But I like simple. Also, this could be like a draft and the main thing is to get the story/plot out. Which is also why I like simple. I read for the story.
All in all, thanks for a good read so far. I'll slowly, but surely, catch up to the rest.
| wittylass13 chapter 41 . 9/19/2011
I quite enjoy that I never have to wait long to read the next chapter in your story. And with that quick pace I'm impressed that there arent more glaring errors. I usually dont comment on those types of things, since I'm not grammar champ myself, but on the 9th line it says "petty things had lost all import" and I'm pretty sure you meant to say importance.
Now with that simple error out of the way I really enjoyed this chapter. Phoenix is my favorite character and when there's some type of fighting, I'm all for it. There's the continuation of Wolf's acceptance of his fate and we get to know more about the Stars and what that entails. I'm really interested to see what happens when they finally reach the stars and Wolf has to encounter all the old tales himself. I like that Phoenix is this weary being with her own secrets that she doesnt need to share with Wolf. too many times I see how people instantly become friends, these two arent friends but they are becoming fellow comrades on the path to executing the same goal.
Anyhow keep up the good work and I look forward to reading the next installment
| kobez2.0 chapter 41 . 9/19/2011
This is an amazing story. I'm really digging the style, although I find some of the chapters to be a little short.
The characters are compelling and the storyline seems unique and beautifully realized. I hope you update soon.
| Guest chapter 5 . 9/19/2011
Wow, this was very good. The switches between Cal and the Phoenix was quite smooth and well done. Even the interaction with Wolf was clear, and the short fight scene very telling of Phoenix's past strength. Very nice.
But also, there were some grammar (or rather, spelling or forgotten entry of a word into a sentence) mistakes. I'm sorry I can't remember in which part. But it's no big.
And it might be just your style, but I think if it's like a normal sentence within a dialogue, it should be ended with a coma e.g. "A goat herd should be begging for her life." He said - should probably be - "A goat herd...her life," he said. Unless he was shouting then it's like - "A goat herd...life!" he said - but still not a capital letter at 'he'.
Overall though, I really liked this chapter.
| The lone canine chapter 41 . 9/18/2011
Ahh! You have quite the magnificent story here, it is very well written with a compelling story, interesting characters and fast paced reading to an extent. What I really like is how you can keep a reader reading this with the use of great words, and your fight scenes are very good as well.
All in all, from chapter 1 to this one this story is amazing and I look forward to more from you.
| kuronekoevan chapter 41 . 9/18/2011
Nice... I love the night-long battle. And... Phoenix is not the most trustworthy guide? Wonder why that sounds familiar... xD
"For, with all her bravery in the battle, there was nothing she had come to fear more than a friend."
I love this last line. Can't wait to see more.
| The lone canine chapter 20 . 9/18/2011
I don't know, I thought the action sequence was quite well done. A lot of people have trouble with action sequences so if you didn't think it was that great, don't stress about it because others might like it. And with that I say a job well done with this chapter.
| The lone canine chapter 14 . 9/18/2011
Phoenix has quite a sad past and story she told, it is pretty saddening and I feel bad for her to an extent. Wow.
Another great, compelling chapter.
| The lone canine chapter 12 . 9/18/2011
Oh I love a good story and if Phoenix is gonna tell a story then I can't wait to know what that story is. Ahh...
| The lone canine chapter 11 . 9/18/2011
Oh, some new characters are introduced into the story, and they sound like important people, that Wolf knows. Interesting...
| The lone canine chapter 9 . 9/18/2011
Everyone has a past, some darker than others. Just a thought. Poor Phoenix at the end of the chapter, she really did seem upset. Wolf is a cool character, I gotta say. All round great chapter!
| The lone canine chapter 8 . 9/18/2011
Phoenix is a clever person in combat with someone else. Either that or Wolf is a bit naive. Well, still I give her credit for her little trick.
Gonna keep reading... nice job here.