|Reviews for Twelve Stars|
| Abydos Jackson chapter 7 . 8/22/2011
Okay...I was intrigued and impressed up until the last two chapters. Now, I'm also hooked! You have some serious talent...I can't wait to read more. :-)
| tori.72 chapter 14 . 8/21/2011
Really good so far! I love the characters and its an amazing story and really well written :) please update soon! Please!
| thatawkwardmoment chapter 14 . 8/21/2011
XD This is a chapter I haven't read - well, I just read it now but that's not what I meant. :p
It was very interesting learning about the Twelve Stars and I'm wondering if Phoenix is like the 'Creators' - she probably isn't but she does seem to have something in common with them.
Update soon! I know you just updated now, but still I have to say it. Update soon cause your story is one of my favourites on this site. ;)
(-) Thanks. I'm happy because I actually got an email saying this had been updated! Yay! And yes I'm going to upload it to my new penname in a bit. That is the beginning of a big story. ~sigh~ And I'm trying to focus on the short story I'm writing at the moment for AugNoWriMo.
| thatawkwardmoment chapter 12 . 8/21/2011
It's Sasse1892 - I got tired of not being alerted so I made a new Login. Dreading having to do it for .
Anyways, I've read this chapter as well before now. _
I don't really have any C.C - your story is seriously awesome and so well-written it just rocks and I don't know how it could be bettered.
Anyways, looking forward to the next part. XD
| rust phoenix chapter 4 . 8/20/2011
This chapter was one of the best so far in terms of pacing. The suspense carries through nicely, and the ending is definitely interesting.
| rust phoenix chapter 3 . 8/20/2011
This chapter had some excellent descriptions and a very interesting tone. I love the last sentence - it does a fantastic job of building suspense.
| rust phoenix chapter 2 . 8/20/2011
This story continues to be very interesting! I especially loved the last section, which does a fantastic job of characterizing Cal as well as providing interesting hints at her origins. In terms of constructive criticism, I don't think the first section was quite as strong as the last scene. If you would like to make the scene stronger, I would suggest including descriptions of the Phoenix that are a bit more concrete; I get a very strong idea of Cal's emotional state here, but my idea as to what is actually going on is a lot less clear. The opening scene is still quite strong and very interesting, but its descriptions do not match the beauty and intensity of the last scene of the chapter. I also think it could help build suspense if you gave more indication as to the upcoming plot - if Cal and the Phoenix have been struggling against each other for so long, does this recent event indicate that this battle will come to a climax soon? Or are their outside forces that will change their relationship?
Looking forward to reading more!
| Sasse1892 chapter 11 . 8/20/2011
OMG... Someone took Phoenix's name! I'm pretty sure I've read this chapter though. It's a good one. XD
Very interesting. _
No need to worry about spamming my inbox - isn't sending me alerts for story updates or anything. Are you getting them? I'm pretty sure it's just me though. No one else seems to be having this problem... .
(-) I'm suprised I got a msg about your PM.
Anyway. It was an interesting chapter and I'm looking forward to the next one. :3
| rust phoenix chapter 1 . 8/19/2011
Hello, thank you so much for your reviews! I am so glad you are enjoying my story, and I like your writing a lot too!
The way you opened this story was extremely effective for catching my attention, and the descriptions throughout the chapter are very strong. The hints you provide as to the setting and how Cal ended up in this position give enough detail to paint a fascinating picture while still raising a lot of questions that make me want to read more. The pacing seems very good so far, and your characterizations of Cal and the Phoenix have me hooked to learn her/their backstory. Can't wait to read more!
| Sasse1892 chapter 7 . 8/18/2011
You're welcome! Not that it's hard to review you're story is beyond awesome. Every chapter I read I love the whole thing a little more. _
I don't mind the occasional filler chapter. Sometimes they're nice. :3 Anyways I thought the chapter was good and I learnt some new stuff and got to know Wolf and Phoenix more so I'm happy. I love characters!
Once again. AWESOME STORY!
P.S - Sorry I didn't R&R earlier something's going on with and - I'm not being alerted to any reviews/updates or anything. It might just be my email though. Are you getting update/review alerts?
| BusyBee317 chapter 6 . 8/16/2011
I promised that I'd read and review, so here I am. Not just because I promised, but becasue I was intrigued from the first sentence. You're a very talented writer, and the story gripped me instantly. I was on the edge of my seat with anticipation! It was very mysterious, and I loved it so much! I like the connection with the stars; it’s fantastic! I love the characters as well! They’re very unique and incredibly special. It came as such a shock when Cal died – and so quickly as well! – but I know it was important that she had to die! It was a very unique twist to a story! I like that about your story! It’s so twisty and turny, and the reader never knows what it about to happen next! I think that it’s a really fantastic story, very interesting, and I’m dying to read more! I hope that you update soon! :)
| Sasse1892 chapter 6 . 8/15/2011
I love learning about Phoenix and her history and that last line, I'm so looking forward to the next update just to find out what happened. XD
I'm suprised this doesn't have more reviews. It's weird cause it's so awesome. o.O
Re: Your Reply to Review:
I'm assuming you had a reason for Cal dying - trusting the author on it - so unless you really want to bring her back, I'm good. I kinda liked how a pretty important character ended early. That doesn't seem to happen often.
| Sasse1892 chapter 5 . 8/14/2011
So... Cal's gone then?
I like the way she feels about her sword. I thought it was cool how quickly she formed an.. attachment to it. _
I also like how Wolf is wary of her - not sure that's they way I want to phrase it. Basically I like that she's not what he thought she'd be and she's giving him trouble. :S
Anyway that's kind of what I'm trying to say.
Looking forward to the next update!
| Sasse1892 chapter 4 . 8/13/2011
So the stars are like... portals? It sounds like they are.
Are they portals to other worlds?
You're story is so cool - as in awesomecool. And I liked that we saw some of Wolf's thoughts too, a interesting way to learn some Cal/Phoenix history.
Update soon! XD
| Sasse1892 chapter 3 . 8/12/2011
What is Phoenix? That's like my biggest question. And how did she create all that stuff? And did she do something to the stars?
And I feel so sad for Cal... and Phoenix too. I can't wait to see what happens, and where it all goes. How it ends... _
Can't believe I have to wait for the next chapter! :p
Oh! Almost forgot - think there's a typo... "Phoenix CHOCKED at the memory." Is it meant to be chocked or choked?