|Reviews for World of Psi|
| SJR chapter 2 . 8/19/2011
...So Arianne and Ariadne are the same character? Intriguing - is one a nickname or does it have something to do with class? Also I forgot to say in the last review: I thought your use of the italic lines was flawlessly executed and added well to the narration. I haven't seen thought (I assume its thought?) used like that before. It was very good, well done :D
| SJR chapter 1 . 8/19/2011
Hey :D Lovely chapter it had great ambiance. It gave the sense of a future setting without labouring the point: I really appreciated that. You certainly seem to have it in the correct genre - sci-fi and fantasy tend to overlap anyway.
I did pick up on a couple of things though:
'The little girl looked up from the desk, Blonde hair...' Blonde has a capital B. It's just a typo but these things can slip through accidentally. Normally I wouldn't point it out but there are so many people on this site that post work littered with typos that some people, when they're reading work, will give in almost immediately if they see a typo at the beginning. I feel so picky for pointing it - sorry :(
Also the paragraph that begins: 'The boy then got up and walked to the cupboard which he had been hiding in and sleeping in' has a lot of repetition. Words such as 'in', 'secretly' and 'already' so it sounds a little jarring. You see that's a lot more helpful right? I still feel mean but not so much about those kind of things.
ANYWAY I really did enjoy it and I loved 'Psi.' The concept of underlying energy is a familiar one but your incarnation is very unique so I must go and read the next chapter! Hope this was helpful.