Your discriptions are good, I had no trouble visualising in my mind what you were discribing.

Characterisations are also good. The people are believable.

First person is good for suspense stories.

Some of the prose is awkward, but that will improve with usage. Try not to put in too much information at once. Let personal appearances, backgrounds, plans leak out a little at a time.

Your spelling is better than mine, so I won't comment on that.

Hope this helps.

Raina dahling, you're a great writer! Good luck, keep up the good work! :)