|Reviews for A Trial for the Cowards|
| Twyla Cole chapter 1 . 8/27/2011
I like it. The second section "somewhere in time..." is my favorite bit. it has great rhythm and the internal rhyme is great.
But I do think that there is something missing in the beginning. THe metaphor seems incomplete. The "pinpricks" bit is a little unspecific. Why do these pinpricks make you understand you are not a warrior? What sign of weakness do they expose? There is an image missing. I can feel it.
I love the ending lines. But I think that "breaking as I abandon my/pose and raise..." is a little strange. The line break just isn't working for me. the word "my" is being emphasized at the end of that line. i think "abandon" is a stronger word to end that line on, and would just read better.
Overall I really like this piece. The PS at the end is also a nice touch. It sort of adds clarity to the piece. I think that it is the simplicity of the poem that I like the best.
| Silver Sparke chapter 1 . 8/21/2011
I can connect to this poem. I like your language and the way you portray your discouragement.
The way you space the lines in the first stanza is kind of strange to me, though, and the second stanza is a paragraph. I think if you improved where the lines end, it would be easier to read.