|Reviews for Buried|
| xxabiiixx chapter 38 . 9/11/2016
More please! This is so good!
| paula.abreu.92 chapter 37 . 4/6/2016
OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, you can't do this to me! I hate cliffhanger ... and this is too much for my poor heart!
This chapter got me hooked and I really need to know what happens next...quickly!
Cannot wait for you to appload the next chap.
| paula.abreu.92 chapter 33 . 2/1/2015
Hey i'm kinda obssessed with this story xD I really like it xD
When are you going to upload again? By the way, how many chapters until the story ends? (I don't want it to end XD)
| Rachel032687 chapter 13 . 1/19/2015
The sharp knife of a short life. Well done chapter.
(Also as I read on, I remember you offering review, for review. When you have the time could you please take a look at Where There's Smoke?)
| Rachel032687 chapter 1 . 1/19/2015
Reads a little like one of my fav ep of CSI NV so of course I will read on :)
| alltheeagles chapter 33 . 11/24/2014
I was looking out a little nervously for the graphicness that you mentioned but well, it wasn’t all that bad compared to the first chapter and the other one. It works, cause to go overboard with that aspect would distract from the dynamics between Bear and Wes. SO anyway, I found the bit between Sam meeting her rescuers and Gwen blacking out rather disconnected. Had to re-read it to get what was happening.
The other point I want to comment on is how talkative and with it Sam is, considering that she has morphine in her system. True, you did mention that she’s built up a tolerance to it, but I don’t think it’d have so little effect on her that she can still so easily identify Bay whom she’s met only once and briefly. It’s not a big problem though – just saying, in the interests of realism.
And another cliffhanger! You’re on a roll, girl…
| alltheeagles chapter 32 . 11/24/2014
Your writing makes the reader want to throttle Bay, and that’s GOOD writing. As a side effect, it makes me support Derrick – not just because Bay is being such a pain, but because I actually do approve of him trying to be more of a presence in her life. I mean, yes, he “betrayed” them, but now when they’re in need he’s back and offering his support, and that’s gotta count for something.
This is a most interesting situation – a highly unlikeable heroine (I do wonder if there are readers who stand on her side and think that her stubbornness is admirable) who makes readers root for the supporting cast? And since Bay is so hung up over her dad abandoning them, how come she doesn’t transfer that to Damien, who is also abandoning them to all intents and purposes?
The predictive dreaming comes back into play – that’s good, since the story was getting a little bogged down in general angstiness, and there’s a good ‘ol cliffhanger ending. Woo hoo!
| alltheeagles chapter 31 . 11/24/2014
OMG the nurse is the other bad guy. Bear. OMG. Oh well... great plot point, neatly done! It makes sense really, cause it must be someone with medical knowledge; otherwise how’d he know where to cut so as not to sever any major vessels, how to stitch, how to insert cathethers and feeding tubes and all that? Good thing Mandy was there else who knows what he might have done to Bay. Excellent consistency in plotting there.
You go, Mandy. Someone has to tell Bay off about her dad. Let it go already, you’re making it hard for the rest of the world to move on. I’m glad Damien is stepping up as guardian angel. It’s kind of ironic too, given his name. I bet the one who tried to run her off the road was none other than Bear anyway.
Typo: MISHEARD not miss heard
PS I LIKE Oscar. Very much! He’s my second most favourite after The Count.
| alltheeagles chapter 30 . 11/24/2014
For a moment when I read ‘the cause of all this’, I thought it was the sheriff out to get her cause she’s somehow mystically identified him as the killer. But it was only dad. I felt for Bay in that part. And then I felt spitefully pleased that all the rest of them completely ignored Derrick.
The nurse ogling was comic relief and kind of put things into perspective. In fact, the whole chapter has a kind of ‘oh wow everything is finally over’ kind of feel to it, except that it’s NOT. Hello, Gwen and Sam, anyone? Maybe a tiny mention of that would be in order, just so we don’t overdose on the feel good mood.
Typo: eat it TOO
| alltheeagles chapter 29 . 11/19/2014
Gale is alright, the sheriff didn’t hurt her. Whew... cause I’m pretty sure he’s the bad guy now. That conversation between Bay and Eliza intrigues me. And then the mysterious exchange with Damien. Is this where the mysticism kicks in?
This is such a short chapter that I don’t really have much to say, so now I really feel for those people who have to struggle to find something to say about the earlier chapters of JAT. Thank you for giving me a dose of my own medicine, LOL.
| alltheeagles chapter 28 . 11/19/2014
At the end of chp 26 I thought the killer had gotten Bay somehow but hey, it was only an accident. And it’s more or less confirmed for me now that the killer is in fact the sheriff. I DID suspect him right from the start, didn’t I? Allow me a moment of pride, even if I did get sidetracked for a bit in the middle.
Right, so my heart felt like it was melting when Damien did the hand-holding thing. *dreamy swoony sigh* Great romance moment, that! I understand the claustrophobia connection (and I think I understand the spoiler info) but I think it’d have been more effective if you could have inserted that info into the narration itself instead of as an explanatory note. It won’t be difficult, just a sentence or two at some appropriate point, probably just before her panic starts escalating. It could be as simple as one of the guys (Damien or Grayson) realising it and yelling, “Dammit she’s claustrophobic!” even.
| alltheeagles chapter 27 . 11/19/2014
Man did I get my carnage. But not as expected. Still, I’m not complaining. After all this was the kind of stuff that made me want to read the rest of Buried after the prologue. Ok, another clue: the bad guy was supposed to be looking for them. So it’s GOTTA be the sheriff, right? And the patrol car too... If not the sheriff, then one of his deputies. Actually I’ve more or less given up trying to guess his identity at this point but I felt I had to say something here, the clue is so blatant.
What I like most: Gwen’s spunk. It makes me want to cheer her on even though I know it’s unlikely you’ll have her escape just like that after making Bay go through all that angst in the last ten chapters or so. And then there’s the last bit. Argh... the suspense! But no, I don’t really think the ending to Buried will be quite as tame as that. So it’s on to the next chapter!
| paula.abreu.92 chapter 1 . 8/30/2014
It as been so long since you last updated, I really want to continue reading your story.
Please say someting xD
| thenutrunningthenuthouse chapter 32 . 7/27/2014
Hello! Long time no update, and I'm happy to see the update. I've missed this story!
Alright, so my overall opinion: I'm not sure if this is intentional, but this chapter definitely didn't paint Bailey in a good light. Honestly, she was acting like a brat with her dad, and although she did seem to pick up on it a bit when she didn't do the mumble sorry, I will say I feel bad for her parents, and even if her comment about Damien being more of a man than her dad could very well be true, I think she maaay have been better off keeping it to herself. xD
Hmm, I'm in the thought that Damien should go to college. I mean, I get what he's thinking - all the town really reminds him of is his missing, possibly dead (in his mind) sister, and who wants to endure that? Plus, I imagine small towns are suffocating when so much grief exists there. Ahh, it's like, I want them to find Gwen, or for Bailey to be buried, as I've predicted for a bit now, but I do see Damien's story ending a bit better with him leaving unless you plan for Gwen to miraculously survive. I suppose I'll just have to see.
I will say there was some definite intrigue with the scenes in this chapter - Damien and Bailey sharing the dream and Sam's escape - but I think they weren't quite powerful enough for a thriller. I'd say this - if/when you go back to revise, try to flesh these scenes out, expand them, give them a bit more meat. It would help build the suspense and really show the emotions going through the characters' heads as they find Sam. I mean, that's a HUGE scene, and I think it deserves more "screen time". Also, I get that you're expanding the escape/buried scene with Sam and Gwen more in the next chapter, but you may want to consider either cutting it off at Sam's return (still with the expansion) and leave all the Gwen stuff for the next chapter, that way the suspense feels complete.
Then, some mechanical stuff:
In the beginning, it may give it more dramatic importance to put Bailey’s first line of dialogue on one line. Then put the action tag, and continue her dialogue.
In “here have caused the town Sheriff” - “sheriff” shouldn’t be capitalized
Overall, there's definitely some intrigue building, and I can't wait to read the next chapter! Glad you're back! :)
| alltheeagles chapter 26 . 7/12/2014
I enjoyed the camaderie in the karaoke and the description of how Bay proved her point on not being able to sing was hilarious. BUT... what did it have to do with Gwen? I’m sorry for harping on and on about that. I’m sure when all is revealed in a later chapter I’ll be facepalming myself for not seeing the obvious connection. But well, for now, it’s ... just not there for me.
Also, Damien has recovered very quickly from his weepy episode, hasn’t he? That’s kind of sad, actually, how they’re all trying to distract themselves with karaoke from the horror. Or it could be interpreted as, “Hey, life goes on, ok, so enough with the angst over Gwen already, we’re young and we should be living our lives not mourning another person’s lack of life.” Yeah, I know, that’s so selfish.
The closing paragraph was satisfyingly shocking and cliff-hanger-ish and MUCH more in tune with the horror genre that this story is supposed to be in. Carnage. Yay.