|Reviews for A Day In the Life|
| Turn to Stone chapter 2 . 10/16/2012
That was somewhat confusing.
| Turn to Stone chapter 1 . 10/16/2012
Woah that was mildly disturbing... but it was pretty good.
The cover is also disturbing...
| Vere D Lee chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
For Part 1
It was written like a poem so i treated it as such. It had that steady, yet convulse crazy feel. I found humor in it, the sick twisted kind that only makes the sickest smile. However, i didn't like how u gave away ur word play like 'tea' if i didn't get it so be it, if i did i would smile about it. A very enjoyable read.
| Penelope Sweet chapter 2 . 9/26/2011
Contemplation of how many heartbeats I have before I run out. Like a wind-up toy, yes I am, yes we are"
Best line ever. This is...wow, I dont even know what to say but I love it.
| berley chapter 1 . 9/13/2011
I appreciate you experimenting with voice in this piece, and there were parts of it that work and to me parts of it I felt didn’t. I wasn’t a fan of the capitalization for the most part, or the page breaks that you put in yourself. I thought some of the piece rambled and was a little pointless, though I guess this is a train of thought so I see why it is like that. You say you don’t proof read your thoughts, but if you’re going to write a story, as experimental as it is, I’d still proof read it so that you can edit nouns and sentence structure to give the piece a it nicer flow.
| Roulon du Toit chapter 2 . 9/9/2011
Still right up there with the insanity of the first part you wrote. I like the change of view as well!
Looking forward to seeing if teapot plays an import role in more than just the delusions of a broken mind.
| Roulon du Toit chapter 1 . 8/31/2011
Wow! I really liked that! Excellent way of showing a fogged up (see what I did?) mind!
The only suggestion I could make is when she describes her 'encounter' in the hall, you wrote (and my apologies if I misplace a word or two) "he knows I hate having my personal space invaded". I don't think it's necessary to say it! Her thoughts leading up to it and her conviction that he's stealing her air, shows more than enough to not have to tell us! But that's minor, and just my personal opinion, so it's best to ignore it!
I don't know if you've read American Psycho? Obviously the voices of the characters differ between your story and American Psycho, but I think you've got a knack for writing in that train-of-thought style!