|Reviews for The Nature of Wishing Dust|
| Flame Darkmoon chapter 8 . 2/26/2012
I hope you update as soon as possible.
| Happy reader chapter 7 . 2/22/2012
I LOVE this story! Please update soon. (-:
| Lynn K. Hollander chapter 6 . 1/12/2012
And here: "Oye, Ralf, she's awake." He said.
The first period, the one after 'awake' ends that sentence. That leaves 'He said' dangling alone as a sentence fragment.
It's a sentence fragment because 'said' is a transitive verb and needs an object to complete its meaning. He threw... What did he throw? He gave... What did he give? He said... What did he say?
He threw THE BALL. He gave MILLIONS. He said, "OYE, RALF, SHE'S AWAKE." BALL, MILLIONS, AND 'OYE, RALF, SHE'S AWAKE', are the necessary direct objects.
The writer can change the arrangement of the object, subject and verb: He said, "Oye, Ralf, she's awake." OR "Oye, Ralf, she's awake," he said. However, the whole sentence still needs a subject(who acts, who does something), HE; a verb(what was done),SAID; and an object(what was said), "OYE, RALF,...,"
I don't know how much fiction you read, but the next time you pick up a novel, notice the dialogue tag presentation.
| Lynn K. Hollander chapter 1 . 1/12/2012
"You're sixteen, dear. You are of marriageable age." The queen said & "Barely." Gloria grumbled & "Be still, princess. I need to take you're measurements." The seamstress snapped. More correctly: "You're sixteen, dear. You are of marriageable age(COMMA)," (NO CAPITALI LETTER HERE) the queen said & "Barely(COMMA)," Gloria grumbled & "Be still, princess. I need to take YOUR measurements(COMMA)," (NO CAPITAL LETTER) the seamstress snapped.
| PureHeartsWait chapter 3 . 11/27/2011
Great chapter I luv it! It kind of reminds me of one of those fairytales that my Mother read me when I was little. He was soo cruel just to leave her there though I mean come on she's obviously lost. But then again I guess that's what she gets for using wishing dust. Great story! Creative! Well written! I luv it :D
| PureHeartsWait chapter 2 . 11/11/2011
WOAH! Didn't expect that to happen. Very good writing. It was fun to read. I feel a bit sorry for the princess but I guess that's what happens when you play with magic. Keep On writing.
3Pretty Girl Swag
| PureHeartsWait chapter 1 . 10/31/2011
This seems like a truly amazing story! Write more!
| Eris-Mars chapter 4 . 10/24/2011
Wow, this story is really interesting and creative. I'm sad about the dragon though, he was a pretty swell character. Please update! What happens next to Gloria!