|Reviews for Just Smile|
| I-am-happy chapter 1 . 9/8/2011
Thanks for screwing um tomorrow for me! You know what time it is? Well only 11:50, but I need my sleep! Loved it 3 Consider it on my favorites!
| peanuts and paydays chapter 1 . 9/7/2011
Okay well first of all, I freaking love lacey & Ty- like seriously, they are a whole lot better than Gel/Creeper boy heheheheheh :D
Secondly, I read through that critical review and I do agree with some (not all though, I’ll explain later) of herthoughts. Yeah, don’t use those bracket things. I know you’ve used them in the past but I’d always thought that it was the way the character was supposed to be so I never really commented on that but then I realized that you use them a lot and for different characters too. So yes, get rid of ‘em and use that noggin to think of some really cool-as-a-cucumber words to replace and describe how she’s feeling :D
I was a little confused by the beginning. Like I get the main point of it was to emphasize how she was quiet (NOT SHY hahaah I agree though) but I didn’t really see a point of connection with the story. So if you’re ever editing- I’d maybe rewrite it to maybe explain why she doesn’t smile that much. Or why she doesn’t want to love until college (remind you of someone… even though she has a bubbalicious?) since the whole “I wanna love in college” thing kinda sprang up on me too. Also there were spelling errors so go over those too. ;)
HOWEVA I don’t agree with how the conversation didn’t flow. I feel like somehow Lacey & Ty already knew each other, without actually knowing it already, so the conversation was natural and good-feeling, and I personally thought it was adorable. I also thought it was hilarious how she didn’t know she was well known (kinda like Chad BAHAHAHAHHA CHADDDDDDD) so that made me laugh hehehehehe. Also the part where they call each other ninjas. Velly good. I like ninjas. I wish I had a ninja boyfriend. JAYKAY.
Lacey blabbers. Interesting :DD
And she punches him harharharharharhar. HAHAHAA. I like her boss! Except he giggled- but he’s like 107 years old so I guess that’s okay. If he’s a cheery 107 year old that . EXCEPT BOYS LIKE TY DO NOT GIGGLE. GOOD THING YOU DIDN’T PUT THAT IN THERE. I WOULDVE MURDERED YOU. Jk. Kind of. Ty’s cute. He smiles a lot :) Even when he’s bleeding. KINDA LIKE HAPPY MOUTH AHAHAHAHAHA. Okay. Moving on.
A little confusing since I thought at first you were talking about Ty. [I had only liked one boy in my entire seventeen years of existence and nothing happened at all. I'm sure he didn't even see me as a girl.
Okay, so he was already in love with an amazing girl. But still.] Also I didn’t really know she liked Chad either- until later.
HAHAH CARA’S BACK. SHE’S HILARIOUS MAN. I LOVE HER. [She started to hyperventilate.] BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT’S WHY I LOVE HER.
Oh man, cheesy words. It’s okay though, it’s a romance story ;D
Bumblebee car. YESSSS TY’S MY FAVE MAN.
Ty’s speech was a little cheesy though. Like extremely gooey cheesy. Tone it down abit maybs? And he’s only known her.. like really known her for a month right? Maybe you should make it more than amonth. Their relationship did move a bit fast in my opinion.
CHADDYPOOPOO! YOU’RE BACK.
Also her decision to confront Ty was a bit sudden too. And her speech was cheesy too.
BUT overall it was very nice. I liked the theme of the story- to smile :DD So I hope you’re smiling in school right now. Hjehehehehe.
So yes. Hope you enjoyed this long review. I gotta go and read critical reading passages- way less interesting than Lacey & ty. GEEEEEEEEZ WAHHHHHHHHHH.
| Pzychotic chapter 1 . 9/6/2011
Sorry Bike! Lol so funny
I cannot stress how beautifully fluffy and romantic this was. [The comment below mine is rude and I will see that she wont mess with mah sis.]
Your writing is so fairy-tale perfect, it makes me so jealous that Ty's love life can go like that XD Whatever, I'll find some pretty girls someday -_- Yeah...so...I really liked it! It took a while to read through all the minute details but I took time of Euro to read this and I was glad I did! It's such a different world than the dystopias I have in my head. I don't know why we are related anyways. We're totally opposites O_o But that's what's beautiful about it all. Your writing lets me see the beautiful side of things...so thank you for making me smile in a truly happy way, not a sinister bittersweet way (what I do when someone dies in one of my stories).
| Grace chapter 1 . 9/5/2011
This story seems a bit quick paced... Like suddenly when they first meet, they have this connection and as I read the conversation where they first meet, I couldn't but think 'what?'
So back pedal on that, make the relationship grow a bit before she apologies to him in the beginning.
Also, don't use phrases like 'you could tell that I was angry?' Show it to us by usin words like: heat, temper, annoyed... Words which help build up the tension and make us realize that yes your character is angry.
Don't use (sarcasm intended) ... It makes your readers bored or uninterested. Of course the sarcasm was intended! You wrote it to make it sound like that, did you not?
Don't use (brackets) all together...: I personally don't enjoy using it as things placed in brackets are usually unimportant. I use this hyphens (-) within stories because they allow you to add more information... It just makes it flow easier.
Set up a plot line and work on your characters. You have great writing skills, but I found that some of the story dragged and so I stopped reading it - sorry.
The bit I got bored with was when she punches him...
Use more verbs and adjectives to describe emotion to create tension... Blah blah blah.
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| inlovewithlove11 chapter 1 . 9/5/2011
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, MAKE MORE CHAPTERS! YOU HAVE AN AMAZING TALENT AND GIFT! I AM NOW COMPLETELY HOOKED ON THIS33 PLEASE WRITE MORE!