Reviews for The Roslyn Chronicles Book One: Grey
the ticking clock chapter 14 . 6/6/2012
wow.

that was INTENSE.

loved every second of it. Your writing is improving with each chapter, and the story just keeps getting better and better!
the ticking clock chapter 12 . 4/15/2012
AMAZING.

i love the changes you've made...it's clear and mysterious at the same time. the ending makes me want to cry and scream at the same time :) awesome cliffhanger.

can't wait to see what you come up with next!
the ticking clock chapter 11 . 4/1/2012
amazing chapter, mellon nin! the emotions, the tenseness, the grief...I wish i could write a better, more constructive review, but i am in awe right now. I'll reread the chapter and write a better one later, but right now, my only thought is: WOW.

your writing has improved so much since the start of the story, and this chapter shows it with the vivid word pictures, and the description you use to explain to the reader what is going on. amazing.
the ticking clock chapter 10 . 2/27/2012
wonderful chapter as always :) emotional, intense, hear breaking...wow! I love your descriptions of poor Val, Ben's distraught emotions, and Ramiel's fury...brilliant writing. can't wait to read what happens next!
Solomon Sia chapter 1 . 2/9/2012
Cool. Can't think of anything better to say at the moment but this is good stuff and thanks for writing it!
the ticking clock chapter 9 . 2/6/2012
whoa...intense!

that was amazing. Jack's section was epic, and Ramiel was just plain awesome! can't wait to see what happens next!
the ticking clock chapter 8 . 1/26/2012
amazing chapter as always :D love the way you wrote Ben's confusion and pain throughout. and Your descriptions were perfect and right where they needed to be. great job
Bob chapter 1 . 1/10/2012
Why do you just put it on this website You know alot of people will steal it. My advice is you should take it down and go get it published. You can be any age, I got one published at 11 :)
the ticking clock chapter 7 . 1/10/2012
wow...that was INTENSE. the last scene with Val was so heart wrenching and powerful. Very well written. I love this. great job mellon nin!
the ticking clock chapter 6 . 12/25/2011
I LOVE this! Loved the Grace scene, the changes you made were perfect :) Ben's portion of the chapter was heart breaking, especially with the appearance of a certain angel. i really like how you write these two, and the different styles and tones you use for Val and Ben. can't wait to see what the next chapter brings!
the ticking clock chapter 5 . 10/12/2011
this was amazing. I love the two different pov, they are so emotional both of them, the characters are very different, but they are also intertwined beautifully. I feel for Ben at the same time I feel for Val, and I am so excited to see how Val is going to carry through with his plan...

This story is full of excitement, emotion and I can also feel a building tension. My only suggestion would be to hear Ben's thoughts a bit more. I feel like you've developed Val's character well, and now we need a little more information about Ben. But maybe that will come up in later chapters...

anyways, this was epic and so emotionally gripping! Can't wait for more!
THE TICKING CLOCK chapter 4 . 9/26/2011
WOW...I love this chapter! Val is such a relatable, likeable charecter, I love how you write him. My only suggesting would be for us to hear his thoughts a bit more, feel his emotions a teensy bit more, it would really push his POV into the catogroy of AMAZING.

i love all the similies and metaphors you use to describe the darkness and how Val percieves the world. They give his pov and almost inuman, but still relatable feel.

ah, a "state of musing" sounds familier...Las and Val are pretty similar, huh? :)

I can't wait to read on, this story has me hooked. You've created a pretty amazing cast of charecters...just add a bit more description of the thoughts/emotions, and you will really have something here. This is pretty special...it's got the potential to go places.

Can't wait to read on!
the ticking clock chapter 3 . 9/26/2011
don't really know what else to say...

AMAZING
the ticking clock chapter 2 . 9/26/2011
wow...I LOVE this story! The charecters are so beautifully written and thought out, and the story just moves along at a pace that is not to fast, not to slow. the emotions are so clear and viberant and real...this is just amazing. Keep up the good work!
the ticking clock chapter 1 . 9/7/2011
.god.

this was AMAZING! so emotinal and descriptive and just bautifully, beautifully written. wow. love it! this really shines through with passion and love and emotion and has a nice tense undercurrent running throughout that makes my heart pound and comples me to read even more! once again, AMAZING.
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