Reviews for Warrant
Lillian Dooley chapter 1 . 9/11/2011
I think this poem is very good. I can honestly say that I cannot find much wrong with this piece, and that's with my tough critic's eye.

I especially like the scarlet sins, but I don't really know what they're supposed to represent. I won't be an English teacher here and say "The curtains are blue to represent his depression". I'll be the writer's sidekick "The curtains are fucking blue". Excuse the language, but that expression just makes me laugh.

In the third stanza from the bottom, I wanted to read it without the "here" in the last three lines.

here it's not heaven, nor even space –

it's just cold

it's just dark

it's just empty

You don't have to take my word to heart, but that's what I wanted to read. For some reason, that's what my mind told me to read.

FP review thingy spazzing out again, so I'll leave you with no more chatter to deal with than you have to. Time's short as it is.

"Either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing" ~Benjamin Franklin.

You write or you do. ("Do or do not. There is no try"~Yoda).

I should really stop my quoting. I won't torture you any further. Although, I'm sure you've discovered my deep and dividing interest in pain.

I'll leave. Bye!

*resisting temptation to say "Have fun storming the castle!"

*oops*

See ya.

Lily