Reviews for The Legend of Margaret Hill
2nd chapter 1 . 9/16/2011
Hey, Snow here. :D

I'm reviewing as I read, so bear with me. xD


[In another universe that is.]

-add a comma after 'universe'

[A pure black one, with a meaningful name, the door knob fairy.]

-shouldn't there be a dash between 'door' and 'knob'?

[She rose out of bed, as if in a trance and proceeded to walk across the room; her light footsteps making no sound and tugged the window handle open.]

-replace the semi-colon with a comma, and remove the comma after 'bed' and add a comma after 'sound.'

[it looked almost like moon cheese.]

-The 'moon' isn't needed there...

[Her curiosity almost killed her a few times, just like the famous saying, "Curiosity killed the cat."]

-add 'had' in between 'curiosity' and 'almost'

[A door-knob fairy, if defined was called as a deceiving creature; a "doorway" to death, hence the name door-knob.]

-add a comma after 'defined' and remove 'as'

Nitpicking aside, I really, really loved this. The concept of door-knob faires being the doorway to death was very creative a well as interesting, and I felt that giving another image to the mystical and wonderfully seen creature was thinking outside of the box. :D

The wording of the text was very nice too- I really like your style of writing. :D

I hope you're satisfied with this review, sis. :D


P.S. Favourited. :)
broken-nib chapter 1 . 9/11/2011
I loved the story about the "Door-Knob Fairy". This is my first day here and I'm already loving it. I hope to read more from your creations.

Have a nice day!