|Reviews for Give Up|
| Dr. Self Destruct chapter 1 . 4/30/2012
Very cool! This really had my interest the entire way through, which is usually hard for me to find a story on FP that does that - but I definitely think it was both the characters and the plot that kept me so interested. I love this idea of smart zombies because I don't think I've ever seen that before, and it really stretches the boundaries of what a zombie is. I think it's pretty cool if they're evolving to show intelligence - makes me wonder how long it would take before they're as smart as humans. Also, I loved how you kept poking fun at Twilight and making all those other pop-culture vampire references. The mention of the Mario mushroom and Jigglypuff made me laugh too, haha. I thought it was a great, subtle way to show how old the characters are.
I also thought Ace's character was really awesome. I loved his cocky attitude, and I think his reasons for helping the humans, while not the most generous, made perfect sense after seeing his personality.
We've already seen the whole humans vs vampires and humans vs zombies, but I don't think society has ever seen humans vs vampires vs zombies, which was really a highlight for me. I'd love to read more about this - gonna vote for it on your poll. ;D
| Vivace.Assai chapter 1 . 4/23/2012
I wasn't entirely too sure with what to make of this in the beginning but I really got into this story a few paragraphs in. Well, actually, it was more like from the moment you mentioned the intelligent zombie (so I wasn't too positive of it from the summary). Dialogue is sometimes a tricky thing to start a chapter with since it might catch the readers off-guard. However, the humorous start with the dialogue definitely pulled my attention into the story.
While we're on the topic of dialogue, I liked how you wrote the dialogue in this story. This story was more dialogue heavy than I expected but it's very nicely done. It was all relevant and there was a certain amount of suspense and interest in the dialogue. Also, you've set the setting really nicely by using the dialogue. It didn't feel like you were dumping information on us since the dialogue all seemed relevant to what was happening.
You were able to expand well on this world and I really like the concept. A world where the dead reign and their are greater powers at play trying to manipulate humans. Very intriguing and there's so many possibilities for an interesting story with it. I've noticed you have a great way of twisting common ideas into something completely new and unique with your stories.
The ending was slightly abrupt for me at first. I didn't have too much of a connection with Alice to feel any sympathy with her death. But then, I felt the ending was shocking and unexpected - it also showed how Jared feels companionship with Alice but the world he lives in forces him to abandon her body. It just gives more indication of Jared's character and the setting as a whole.
So, overall, I really liked this story. Once again, this is another story that could be nicely expanded on to create a great full-blown work of fiction.
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 4/18/2012
Oh man, I wasn't sure about this piece but then I really got into it. You have a way of really bringing together some cool characters and a great original setting on old tropes. I loved the ending. At first it happened a bit too sudden for me, since we don't really know a lot about Alice to feel the effect of losing her in the first chapter, but then I kind of liked that because it does open Jared up for the coming chapters and the knowledge of what happened here. Then we sympathize better. I think you have another interesting concept here with the monsters. I liked how you incorporated the zombies, I don't see that intelligent thing happening too often and I liked how you added in pop culture references to make it feel more real. Enjoyed Ace's character, I'd like to see more of him if you expand on this idea. I think from today this was my favorite one-chapter story I read. The characters were intriguing and I loved what you were doing with the plot!
| Carson Numetzky chapter 1 . 9/18/2011
Great opening, I liked how you mixed different pop culture versions of undead and how you started with the world already gone to hell. The desperation of the situation is done really well and the conversation reveling the information is spot on.
"I know, but...but it's horrible, having to shot cats and dogs just to eat and..."
It should be shoot, not shot. That is the only mistake I could find. Besides that great start, I can't wait to see more.
| xRayne wolfx chapter 1 . 9/16/2011
hello mentor :D (might as well call you that considering i see you as one whenever you review my works.) This was a exellcent one-shot. I loved the horror tones within this, Jared was a cool character and i felt sad when he watched is friend kill herself before the zombies came.. i could see this as a potential multi-chapter story,its baffling to see how you can come up with nice quick stories while in the process of other works.. keep up the great work -