Reviews for Book 1 Secerts
Revamp chapter 6 . 4/30/2013
Poor Steven. He's really having a rough time. I like all of the information that's coming out. The characters are deep and multidimensional. I love how engrossing thier lives are and how entertwined . I look forward to your next update.
Revamp chapter 5 . 4/30/2013
There was a lot of nice dialogue going on. A very nice, emotional chapter you have here. I love the interaction between the characters.
Revamp chapter 4 . 4/30/2013
I like the symbolism of true love lies close to death and how it's presented as an ominous theme throughout this chapter. I hope that Steven will be alright. He's one of my favorite characters.
Revamp chapter 3 . 4/30/2013
This must take place after beauty and the assassin. That's what I get from it. I hope everything goes well for our budding couple. There was nice action in this chapter and a few good twists as well. Great job.
Revamp chapter 2 . 4/30/2013
The first chapter in and it's full of twists and turns. It has a nice flow and I like your point of views. It really shows what the characters are hiding and how they feel.
Revamp chapter 1 . 4/30/2013
This has a nice, interesting summary. I'm going to keep reading to see how this goes.
JustAnotherNewbie chapter 2 . 10/8/2012
Well, the title is spelled wrong, it should say 'Secrets.' You should also type capital K for Knight in Lucky Knight. I don't like the minor grammar issues in your story, it's very distracting. I also didn't like your description of Lucky's appearance, it was quite trdious but i like your description of his powers. I do like the plot, it's quite unusual. Good luck with this!
Unweighted Book Author chapter 2 . 10/8/2012
Well, there is no denying that this is riddled with cliches and not the best writing, both in terms of character and world building. The characters are too perfect and everything is the reader expects it to be. I would recommend that you try to surprise the reader more. There are also some big plot holes. For example, why hasn't Lucky realized that Ashley is seven months' pregnant? The signs are more than obvious by then.

On the bright side, you do attempt to delve into the thoughts and minds of the viewpoint characters, which is one of the most important things to do in first-person narration. Consider focusing on this strength to increase the color of the story.
LuckycoolHawk9 chapter 4 . 10/13/2011
Please review
dharney-barney chapter 2 . 9/28/2011
ooooooooooooooooooh i like this one please write more I love it, wait whos Legendary i didn't get that part but seriously right more