|Reviews for A Day to be Remembered|
| Dark Blue Lover chapter 2 . 11/28/2011
LOL this is quite funny! Henrietta as a speech therapist O.o didn't expect that...
Kinda also love the last line: ""Were you really concerned about me sir?" - "No, I just didn't want to have to go in there myself and drag you out."" XDD quite sardonic, but I love that.
Just one thing: "Can you imagine that they don't have many wet-suits for people that are six foot, five inches and skinny as a bean pole?" (LOL yup, I can. My father's like that too, and he always has problems finding clothes ) But nevertheless I'd take out that sentence - author insertion. They can be funny, but mostly, they disrupt story flow. But that's the only complaint I have :-)
Great work! Keep writing :)
| AppleCrumble chapter 2 . 11/27/2011
Brilliant, I love it :-D You are such a great writer, I love your stories anyway but this was extra specially brilliant :-D Can't wait until chapter 3
| 5Faces chapter 1 . 10/2/2011
*meant to say I Will Favorite in the last PM, not what I said*
Very nice. Adding that he was the brother was pretty effective:)
The only suggestions I have would be not to underline the "big words," to keep them from being too distracting, and to maybe use less of them in the dialogue to help it with how realistic it is. But an awesome story, nonetheless :)
| Dark Blue Lover chapter 1 . 9/23/2011
Hm, interesting I'm waiting for the update...
Some things really had me laughing - "squirrels with fluffy pipe-cleaner-like tails"; "It was definitely a conundrum to figure out how his partner's brain worked" - I nearly fell from the chair *lol*
Could you tell me why you stressed some of the words? I couldn't really see a sense in underlining them... maybe it's just me...
I was wondering, wouldn't Jones have recognized his brother? Even if the body's lying face-down, he should have at least wondered for a moment about the hair colour, height, whatever... it struck me somehow he only recognized his brother when seeing the name in the book... unless you're saying "oh he broke up with his family and hasn't seen them in years" then it's okay :P (no offense meant, the thought just crossed my mind)
Anyway... keep writing
| AppleCrumble chapter 1 . 9/18/2011
wow this is really good. I really liked it! Can't wait for the update. :-)