Reviews for Jake's Gym
Thea Uthor chapter 1 . 7/16/2015
JH: Thanks for the review. This is an explanation of a place that becomes more important in later stories (It's based on a real dressing room in the local YMCA) I haven't decided where in the story arc it should go.
There's more on _yunu_ in the Celestial Encyclopedia.
JaveHarron chapter 1 . 7/15/2015
Okay, you got my interest here, and you're off to some good discussion and dialogue. However, the story just ends before it really starts. Was this a one off or short story that was abandoned? Hoping to read more of your stuff.
Vamp712 chapter 1 . 3/8/2014
Its a different type of story, very good though. Maybe add a small sentence or two on what a feng-shui and yuni is, because thats a little confusing other than that they have magic. You say, the yuni, in the beginning, not saying a gender then you just toss it in. Its fine the way it is, just thought I would point it out in case you thought your reader automatically knew. Good story though, I hope to see another chapter on the humans and vampire's reactions, if you decide to do one.
The Author chapter 1 . 1/14/2013
The bold text is an indicator for scene shifts/story breaks. That's all.
One of my characters was a student in the 19th century, when a form of dueling was common. He needs a place to practice, hence Jake's. I haven't decided how to use Jake's in the current story, but there is a scene planned.
Yunu occur erratically throughout _The World in Play_. -Lynn
Amy B. R. Mead chapter 1 . 1/14/2013
I like this, though I'm wondering about the capital bold text; it's a tad distracting. But I really enjoyed the logistics of having vampires in a gym, and the yunu intrigues me. Are you going to continue this? Because I'd like to read more.
this wild abyss chapter 1 . 3/31/2012
[From the Review Marathon, link in profile]

I liked the light-hearted take on vampires here because it was interesting and outside of the norms. I was a little unsure as to the actual plot of this, though. I didn't like the way this ended because I had the feeling the story wasn't complete, so I wanted more of a resolution/climax.