Ok so I read this last night right before I went to bed but I wasn't feeling good and was exhausted so I was very confused. So I waited and reread it again and it makes a little more sense. I love Ryan's point of view! He is still like a puppy, just a little more serious. And I really enjoyed reading his conversation with Xander, especially Xander's reaction. Ryan's thoughts seem a little bit random and scattered which I am sure is the character. Just something I noticed and wasn't sure if you intentially did that or not lol.

Really enjoyed the references to Twilight, especially cause I just watched that while I worked out today ;) So ok Emma is still annoying, like very annoying but whatevsssss I'm sure she is going to get better. I was a little confused as to how big the fairies were. Are they like tiny? I'm assuming so cause Becca has them in her hand but then there was a moment where Emma is pushed backwards to the floor and I wasn't sure why? was it the fairies that did that? Sorry, tired which makes my brain not work lol oh and what exactly is fairy glamour and how is she seeing through it? I'm sure that will be explained later when Becca talks to Emma. Looking forward to what's going to happen next and learning about things!

Love, love, love this chapter! Sort of confusing with the whole switching POV thing just because there was no way to indicate it (like a line or ****, etc.) so I was confused for a second but I got it lol. I liked this chapter because we got to look into the minds of different people and see what everyone was really thinking which usually doesn't happen. Kind of cool that everyone is in on protecting her and I'm interested to see where you are going. Still love Xander of course! Oh and I saw the reference you put in for me and now I have that song stuck in my head. ahh! Update soon!

Yay! So you updated! Sorry, exhausted so bare with me. I liked that this chapter was mostly dialouge because it made it really easy to read and follow. I like how you seperate her thoughts by changing the writing but you might want to switch it to italics just cause it's kinda like "bam" when it's in bold. Then again, I'm tired and my eyes hurt so that might just be me lol. Anyways, wonder why Becca doesn't like Xander BUT I do love that even though it was brief, he was in this chapter and he finally talked with Emma...even if it was just for a little bit. UPDATE again please :)

So Xander is definitely still my favorite :) It was short but it was good! I think it will be an interesting twist to have them join school with her. We will see how this goes but of course we can't do that until you update! (soon please) ;)

It was a tiny bit confusing for me. But great chapter

I hate bullies ,

Sweet! Shortest yet probably the best chapter so far :) The whole dragon tattoo on the back of his leg thing reminded me of the dark marks in Harry Potter but then again, that might be because I just saw a commercial for HP on the tv while I read this lol.

Anyways, I thought it was an interesting/good choice to get out of the whole high school scene and go into Xander's point of view. Keeps the story interesting and keeps your readers hooked! Sorry this review is short but I have to finish getting ready for work and then work lol. Anyways, please update soon!

Sooo I was going to review this chapter as I went but I had already read most of it earlier when we were in the theater! Anyways, I love the whole cliched new girl in school, crush on hot guy, bitchy cheerleader aspect of it but then again, I am a sucker for a cliche ;) Interested in what happened at lunch and how that's going to tie in with the story.

My only issue thus far as I think I'm alright with all the characters and can keep tabs on them, but you have a ton of characters, especially for only two chapters! So far I can keep up so that's a good thing! Onto chapter three!

I enjoy Xander. His personality is unique, and he stands out from your other characters. His thoughts made me giggle. I really like his personality. I think you adding mind reading to the table is an interesting choice in plot devices. I can't wait to see where you take it.

This chapter, while short, is my favorite. It explained some things, but raised even more questions. I still can’t see where your plot is heading, but I can see the beginnings of a story with a lot of potential. Please update soon!

Okay, criticism and compliment time again!

One thing I like about your writing style is that you can effortlessly pull of present tense. I can not tell you how much trouble it is for me to write in present tense but you seem to be really good at it.

This chapter seemed to have more excitement to it, although for now it just looks like high school drama (with the exception of the oh so mysterious shadow man). Which leads me to a complaint. The drama seemed cliché. I’ve seen it in every movie. New girl competes with the bitchy (ooh pardon my French) cheerleader for the guy who she is crushing on, and it is hinted that he probably likes her too. Maybe you’re planning something different; I don’t know. You wrote it pretty well so I still enjoyed reading it.

I also got a lot more personality from your main character this chapter. She seemed to have more human emotion. And the suspense only builds! I am very curious about Emma’s background.

You introduced more characters this chapter. Hopefully you can juggle them all.

And now I am off to read the next chapter, which I will probably review on too. So you will probably be getting two ranting reviews from me today. (

Okay, I have some compliments and criticisms.

I like the dream sequence at the beginning. You used stream of consciousness well. The run on sentence made everything seem fast and dream like. Also, you made a lot of hints To Emma’s past, which was wonderful and built suspense.

However, I didn’t get much personality from the characters. Sarah also seemed very cliché, although I like how you added that she was really frightened and nervous instead of just being spiteful so the readers have someone to hate.

Also, there wasn’t much action. I know you were just introducing your characters, but it seemed like the chapter was dragging on a bit.

Overall tough, your writing style is informative, with only slight confusions. I hope to see more from you soon.

It's really good so far. Hope you update soon

I liked the way you repeated the contents of the text - it made it clear what Emma was thinking.

It was well written.

Thumbs up.

Yay! So I am thrilled that you are finally writing! I thought that you did a great job with the first chapter because it was a good way to introduce us to the storyline as well as the characters. It was definitely a smart choice to start off with the dream sequence. The only problem I had with the first paragraph/dream sequence was the fact that it seemed like one long runon sentence since there were no breaks that I can remember. I'm assuming you are doing this on purpose because the reader follows along with Emma as she is frantic and with how it is written, the reader can feel frantic as well. That being said, I think it might be better if you break it up just a tiny bit because I kind of got lost in it due to lack of at least two or three periods! lol. That was my only constructive criticism! I swear. There were a lot of characters introduced but I think I got it! I liked the craziness of the house because it kind of reminds me of my own house!

It's funny, I'm not sure if you were going for it or not, but the thoughts of Emma as the narrator and her in general remind me of you. lol Trust me, that's not a bad thing but a very good thing! I wonder what happened to her parents and her sister :( And I'm still trying to figure out what you said I had to promise not to get mad at but I can't come up with anything other than names (Jason, Bryan family, Emma FINN lol). Not anger, just something I observed. If I mised what I was supposed to maybe be angry at, let me know. Post more soon so that I can find out what happens!