|Reviews for i dressed myself in her skin for a night|
| Jejuna chapter 1 . 12/6/2011
I love your writing!
| Cecelia Hawk chapter 1 . 11/27/2011
I like it a lot. it has a somewhat irregular structure that reminds me of a too fast dance. The 2 lined stanzas then followed with a 4 liined one gives me the impression that the subject matter of slipping into someone's skin is mentally taxing but the regularity of the 2 then 4 lined stanzas give the impression that it is a regular routine. You could be suggesting this but then again you could be suggesting that the person has a regular order of chaos to follow so it could be a juxtaposition of two ideas: happiness 'his teeth felt so good' and alienation 'he didn't know my name'.
One thing that I notice about all of your poetry is that you never use capitals, I'm not sure whether or not this is used purposefully or just because you want to but for me, that you never use capital i, suggests an extra touch of fragility in your words. They are as dainty as thin ice.
I really liked the lines: 'dandelion disasters' because it is ambiguous. It could mean that the casing that holds the disaster within is delicate and that the disaster will therefore happen any time soon or it could mean that the disaster is easily avoided. I also like the lines 'we are paper wings, we are the graveyard' which presents a loss of hope, fragility and 'we are yesterday' presents the persona or you as being stuck in the past.
The ending is tragic indeed. I think that this has the potential to be a ballad and that you could go further into the storyline if you wanted, because ther are a lot of unanswered questions like 'why is she trying to fit into the skin of another person? Is it for the boy?' but I still like the ending because the reader is suppposed to bring to the poem his or her own perspective. Good use of repetition and adjective. I like the use of paranthesis as well because it sounds as if she's whispering it to me. I shall leave it at that, but if you really want some constructive criticism, I can try to go over it with a finely toothed comb and amke suggestions.
| i collect lullabies chapter 1 . 10/2/2011
I really like this poem. The imagery is fantastic. I particularly like the second half.
I also wanted to thank you very quickly for reviewing and favoriting so many of my poems, just in case I don't get a chance to thank you later on. I'm not sure if I'm going to stay on fictionpress but for now I'm just going on a brief hiatus from posting. I just wanted to thank you because it's so unbelievable helpful to me to read positive feedback and constructive criticism to someone whose poetry is a source of inspiration to me. Your poetry inspires me in general, and your reviews are one of my favorite things about fictionpress because usually after you've reviewed a poem of mine, I feel a little better about it (normally I hate my poetry but I post it to see if anyone can tell me how to improve it).
Anyway, this has gotten longer than intended and I won't waste any more of your time. Once again, thank you so much.
| ForThoseNotBreathing chapter 1 . 10/1/2011
Adored this. Absolutely. An extremely painful, heartfelt story, and you've conveyed it so well. Nice use of free verse. This is a beautiful piece, with a well rounded and poetic ending :) Keep writing!