Reviews for D8
PsiRadish chapter 52 . 8/13/2014
I apologize for the blunt insult of my previous review. Passion of the moment and all, knowing with the utmost frustration that this chapter (53) was going to stick in my mind like tar for days no matter what I did. And I was right, cuz here I am again.

Please, explain this to me; I'm honestly begging. Somewhere in the middle of wondering where this little girl's parents are and feeling kind of bad just for stabbing her in the shoulder, Asterisk casually impales her; so casually that she doesn't even seem to notice herself doing it. "I wonder if she's deaf. Oh, guess it doesn't matter, I seem to have killed her for some reason." Why does she do this? There has to be some reason; one that's utterly clear to Aster herself since she doesn't even stop for a moment to wonder why the first person she killed in White City wasn't the first person she saw, or the first person who came near her, or someone who got in her way, or bumped into her, or stepped on her foot, or did ANYTHING to actually upset her in any way, but instead a little deaf child spotted in the corner of her eye, standing helpless and harmless against a wall.

I do at least know that the reason ISN'T, "She's crazy, her actions don't have to make sense." Because that would apply to ALL of her actions, robbing ALL of them of meaning. Not killing Marquis would become just another mad whim, with no reason to think she won't just kill him later when her whims change – and hell, maybe it won't even be for revenge, since she doesn't actually need a reason to kill someone.

So, what IS the reason? What were you thinking here? Am I actually missing something? Or was this something like what I think it was: a misguided attempt to create some last-minute uncertainty for Marquis' fate, by having Aster randomly kill some other kid first in order to earn child-killing cred with the reader?
PsiRadish chapter 53 . 8/11/2014
So Aster calmly lets countless White citizens run passed her unscathed but kills the little deaf girl who's not even in her way because... why exactly? This isn't the ruthless pragmatism that possessed her to attack Erin; it's just completely, unsympathetically STUPID. Stupid of Aster, and stupid of the author. How the hell am I supposed to give a damn whether or not she kills Marquis when she's already done worse: killing some other kid she doesn't even have a grudge against just for standing around? There's nothing she could do after that to make me care about her again – or the rest of the story, for that matter.

I put up with all the completely uninteresting (and ultimately completely irrelevant) pirate characters distracting from the main story only for the main story to become THIS. What a complete waste of my time.
zerodarkwolf chapter 35 . 12/18/2013
zarni had it coming for taking ast. poor kait. hell yeah smutfics
zerodarkwolf chapter 34 . 12/18/2013
fucking kaitlin i love that moronic loveable idiot! why the hell did the captain even let her take the frickin wheel? she seems like shes having the ride of her life while everyone is praying the gods to let them live another day
centernova chapter 57 . 8/2/2013
Well you know what I think of this by now but I'm saying it again that I love this, jsyk.
centernova chapter 4 . 7/30/2013
Okay so I have a soft spot for blind characters and I may be biased, but I do like Nathan. I like all these characters really. Great writing, which is to say there isn't much to review. Should I stop leaving these for every chapter?
centernova chapter 3 . 7/30/2013
oh my gosh! I got over the lazy and logged in! But anyway, let me reiterate- I love Asterisk! Sassy cutie. I do wonder about her relationship with the other queen is, but I am certain I shall find out! Do I need to tell you the writing was good at this ppoint? It was good. Next chapter, ho!
centernova chapter 2 . 7/30/2013
Well, I'm kinda liveskyping this so reviewing is odd but maaaan stuff just got real and I like it. I'm not the biggest fan of Flang (sorry) but the other characters are just epic and I kind of want to hug them (though I doubt they would enjoy that). As in the prologue, the writing is spectacular, and I only expect it to get better! Great work!
centernova chapter 1 . 7/30/2013
Well while I can't see how this turns into not het, I find myself really liking it. You're super descriptive and it works! I am already really liking this world and the couple characters that have been introduced, right off the bat. So, onwards, I guess, let's see what comes into chapter one!
Logos Minus Pity chapter 15 . 7/28/2013
D'awwwww Flang is so stubborn, but that was a really cute reunion between her and Kaitlin! I can't wait to see if/how long it takes for Flang to loosen up a bit and warm up to Kaitlin and the Black Kingdom. Gosh that entire scene was just...cute!

Ahem. Anyway, the start to the chapter certainly took me a little bit by surprise. Ast seems very set in her plans for ending the White monarchy, but despite how adamant she is, I have a feeling that Erin isn't going to go along willingly with this plan to kill the White Prince at the end of the day, and I can't imagine Kaitlin will be any more a fan of it than Erin.
Logos Minus Pity chapter 14 . 7/28/2013
Oh, I liked this chapter a LOT.

Just...everything in it! Finally, I get a first glimpse of the notorious White King, and he seems every bit awful person so far that you've built him up to be.

But now I'm going to skip to my favorite part of this chapter-the scenes with Ast and Kaitlin. Ast is just...the best. She is objectively the best. I understand how Kaitlin is still wary of her, but I was laughing so much when Ast was teasing her on the podium, in front of an entire crowd no less!

And Flang has returned now, hm? Very interesting. Just what is her role about to become?
Logos Minus Pity chapter 13 . 7/28/2013
ACK. Such a short chapter! And ending on a bit of a cliffhanger!

That entire first section in first person POV was really different and interesting-was that Ast in the real world, I wonder? I have to say it again, she is such a complex character, and I love her because of that. She has strengths, but also very clear flaws, and now I'm curious to see just how the upcoming plan of Ast's with the White carriages is going to turn out, especially if her King isn't present.
Logos Minus Pity chapter 12 . 7/28/2013
Yep. Asterisk is pretty amazing. And...ack...I just love her more every chapter! I want to know all about her!

Oh, let me say...that whole confrontation scene between Ast and Kaitlin: very well done! I kept leaning on the edge of my seat and wondering how it was going to end, and now I'm wondering what the repercussions and fallout are going to be. Ast is clearly very proud, but Kaitlin isn't one to just back down on what she feels either. I was very glad to see Kaitlin standing up for herself, and I hope I get to read more of that is the future!

Can't wait to see where this goes!
Logos Minus Pity chapter 11 . 7/28/2013
This chapter reminds me yet again why Ast is currently the most intriguing character in my book: it's just incredibly hard to a get a full read on her. She's clearly a character with many facets and depths to her, and you've already done a tremendous job and giving us glimpses into that depth of personality, and making me, at least, curious to know more.

As for Kaitlin, I'm very interested to see how she adapts to her role and responsibilities as King. She obviously has a lot on her shoulders already, though it seems to be Ast who's calling the shots...guess I'll see where that dynamic takes them, and if Kaitlin begins to mature into her new role more or not...
Logos Minus Pity chapter 10 . 7/21/2013
Mmm...interesting how jealous Erin is already of Kaitlin, and cruelly ironic considering that she was the who handed Kaitlin over to Ast to begin with. Just commenting offhand, that's all. And much on her and her perceived "madness". It seems fairly clear that Erin doesn't know/believe in Iowa or the "real world", and I wonder now just how many other people accept it, or (like Ast and Kaitlin) are from it.

Now for Kaitlin. Ah, adjusting to being King. I thought this line was great:

"She could, for example, order one of the burly, mustached men that guarded the door to get her something to drink whenever she wanted. Any drink. At any time. And he'd obey, because she was the king. It was amusing."

Abuse of power much? Haha.

Other than that, I'm quirking my head that you decided to call this chapter "Flang", and now I'm both certain that you'll be bringing Flang back, and I can't wait to see how.
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