|Reviews for mirror, mirror|
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 1 . 11/10/2011
I really like this; the opening is really strong, and I like the imagery used there. I like the twist of Snow White being the step-mother, almost gives it a 'sins of the step-mother' feel :P And with the hinting that it's fortold by her own step-mother, you have to wonder if Hilde will fall into the same trap when she is older. Nice interaction vetween Hilde and Rafael, it's really sweet, and the last line gives it a really ominous feel. This may be a personal thing, but because it's all in third person I can't help but feel that just (They had three weeks before the apple arrived.) might sound a bit stronger without the [By my calculations] before it.
| Dragon made me do it chapter 1 . 10/8/2011
I really enjoyed the lyrical and fable-like introduction to this story which somehow manages to coexist with ominous undertones. This is a curious mix which seems to work well in your writing and it makes it all the more interesting for it.
This idea of reworking a fable into an adult context with modern psychological interpretations of behaviour, and then twisting the tale is interesting.
I liked the tree imagery with the slightly evil roots wrapping around Hilde.
'ah, the smell of stew was thick in her nose, promising delicious sustenance –
asshole, how dare he try to –
Carrots and peas, a hint of leek.'
I loved your construction here :-)
And I enjoyed your alternate dwarf names: Skitzo, Randy, Rowdy, Cloudy, Christopher and Doc. And I suppose Raphael/boss/sexy too. I especially liked Skitzo. I think we all know one of these.
'By my calculations, they had three weeks before the apple arrived.' - My memory of Snow White and the seven dwarfs is a little vague, but I am assuming this idea is not from the story itself but your own addition? The idea being that the two of them are somehow entwined with the tree and instead of giving birth to a child it is an apple? I like this idea, If I have understood correctly.
The link to the prompt here was quite subtle, but I could see several places where there was a hint of an aspect of the prompt in the story. This was quite cleverly done.
'The Queen had married a young widow, his orphan daughter in tow' - if he is male it should be widower.
'...and who knows might be back in the forest;' I presume this should be who knows what or who knows who.
'with a crackling fire at its' centre'- there should be no apostrophe in its
Nice work and good luck in the contest!