|Reviews for Falling Tears|
| Sinden chapter 5 . 4/22/2013
I'm enjoying this. Hope something good happens to her soon.
| Walter chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
Intro really falls flat.
Guess I should start with the introduction of the protagonist. There's an old saying that I think works well with this and that would be the idea that you should show, not tell. You shouldn't tell the reader that your character is brilliant, or that they have a great personality; you should show it through a scene.
Another problem is the complete lack of empathy that this inspires. When you're writing an angsty story or scene, probably the most important factor is getting your reader to care about the character in question. If the reader doesn't empathize with the character, then it's not going to inspire any emotion. This ties into the characterization or lack thereof at the beginning. Readers won't care about a character that isn't characterized well (i.e. you telling us what the character is like rather than showing us).
The death of her father seems to be more like a marker for when shit hit the fan rather than an actual loss of a person important to the protagonist. It probably would have been better to start from the protagonist's early life or flash back to it at the very start so that you can get the reader to care about the father on a personal level rather than just being told that the protagonist's father died.
The grammar is decent, enough so that I don't have to stop reading every few seconds to mentally fix an error. There are a few glaring errors: "With no friends and no and no family that gives a damn..." Can't say much for the more obscure ones since I haven't really been reading into comma placement and whatnot.
Dialog is uninspiring, although I think that's more of a consequence of the points I made prior rather than it being demonstrably bad.
I'm pretty much turned off from the story right now, although it does have potential were you to add a prologue that goes more in depth rather than a single paragraph that throws the protagonist's whole life's story at us, and maybe make it less cliche'd.
| AlanSleep chapter 14 . 6/9/2012
I like this story a lot, and I'm not sure why.
The writing's not bad but its not very good either.
The situation is unrealistic but isn't so far out there that I question it while I'm reading it.
the characters are flat but they're not entirely boring either.
But even with a number of different flaws I couldn't help but read it up to this point and will most likely read future chapters.
7 out of 10, would read again.
| Dani Blade chapter 2 . 10/9/2011
i really like this, i cant wait for more