|Reviews for My Little Promises|
| Irish Eyes 63 chapter 1 . 8/14/2012
Ooh, excellent. I came here with the intention of PMing you and got sidetracked... heh.
I love poems like these. They are magical and you can feel the young desperation and confusion in them. I feel so bad for this little girl/boy. I once had a friend who had an abusive uncle that lived with her and her mother and he'd hit her around every night. I can semi-relate, but I've never been physically abused, so in that aspect, I suppose the character is on her own :( I find it very interesting and curious that the little girl/boy is defending the father to the mother, even when he's hurting her. But I suppose that is a child's way of coping. And most of the time, they can't even understand the gravity of the situation.
"Mummy please don't cry,
Daddy does love you.
Please don't leave daddy, we need you."
Aww, I can feel the split here in her/him. She wants to go to her/his mother, but then her/his father is walking the other way and she/he doesn't know which direction to go in. Ultimately, I think the choice will haunt her/him for the rest of her/his life. Jeez. Talk about emotionally draining.
I like the periods after basically every sentence. It gives a finality about the aching and desperation. In a way, there are a lot of commas in the beginning that are pushing the story ahead and making it evolve. And as it continues on, the commas become periods, more final and heartbreaking. At the end, there is one comma, one chance to make everything okay, but I don't think it ends up being okay. I don't know if you meant to do that with your punctuation, but that's how I saw it and it was a work of art!
Awesome piece, I really loved it [:
| Eden Green chapter 1 . 10/13/2011
Children always want their parents problems sorted, and somehow draw the conclusion that they had something to do with it when things become sour at home; it's truly sad. Well done!
| Ivy Climbroe chapter 1 . 10/10/2011
:'( that practically made me cry
| BookcraZzaY chapter 1 . 10/10/2011
Wow that Umm...
I can't imagine anything as horrifying as this
She should be an innocent girl and not watch her dad beat her mom
Its just just so sad...wow