Reviews for the girl who waits to be free
mktoddsparky chapter 9 . 1/16/2012
Hey there.

First: I understand. God, I understand. I know you probably feel angry at times with those who don't understand, but how could they? They live life and they don't - can't - understand the feelings in the pit of your heart, feelings so dark they scare you all the time, probably.

Why, for me? I guess I'll tell you. I'm not ashamed of any longer; can't be. I have one best friend and I have not been in contact with her for weeks; everyone else, is, as you said, there, but not those you trust. My brother was diagnosed bipolar two years ago. He beat me up countless times, told me horrible things, called me horrible things. Sometimes, every once in awhile, I remember those things and sort of, kind of believe them. My little sister will probably be diagnosed with bipolar in the next few years. People think I'm too serious, then when I show them who I really am, they think I am a freak. They leave. I do not know why.

I am a Christian, but I doubt too. I know that I'd never kill myself but I do have the thoughts. I am blissfully happy some days and horrible unhappy other days and I do not know why. It's not just because I'm a girl, I think. Not many girls are this emotional.

Two: The feelings you have are not wrong. Not all all. They are real, justified, honest feelings and anyone who tells you otherwise...well, don't listen to them. They probably think you want attention, when it is much more.

Three: Find someone to talk to. Therapists do wonders, actually. But find someone who is as freaky as you are, find someone who understands who will listen. But a therapist is good too, because I have found that when you unload so much grief on friends that they drift away, thinking that you are a mental case.

I'll be praying for. You're welcome to message me and rant if you'd like. I won't leave (:
cassandove chapter 7 . 11/20/2011
Until you believe in yourself, you have NO chance of ever finding happiness.

Grow some self-confidence and compare yourself to yourself.

If it's as bad as you say it is find someone to talk to and get help for yourself, even if it's calling a suicide hotline.
cassandove chapter 4 . 10/28/2011
I love airplanes and roller coasters, but if you put me in a tower, I will flip out. ._.

Public speaking is horrible. Dx

Clowns and Dolls: "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me". Dolls, however, don't bother me.

I have been raped. Please don't forget that men CAN be raped. It's rarely reported, but I know men who have been raped by women and men alike. Rape in general is rarely reported... And sometimes, being armed physically isn't worth a damn. Emotional manipulation exists despite physical circumstance (in fact, most of the people I know who are rape survivors were threatened with words, not with violence).

The rest are quite common fears, and I am afraid of not having my own family.
tiger002 chapter 3 . 10/18/2011
You're not alone in your loneliness. I've been there, wondered if anyone cared, wondered if my "friends" just put up with me. It's not just you, that I know. Things will get better, it just might take some time.
tiger002 chapter 2 . 10/18/2011
When prayers and faith falter,

when doubts and questions rise,

I've seen the darkness and the light,

the wonder of the divine.

The world we live in

Sights and sounds we behold

But through the unseen

Is a story to be told.

I know it to be true

The hand of the invisible king

Guiding this life

In a way that makes me sing.

Something that came to be and I thought I'd share. I'd like to talk to you more about this, but only if you're ready.
flexible veins chapter 2 . 10/12/2011
1. In my denomination (yes I am Christian, yes I read the Bible but I have other scriptures to support it, and yes I used to be nonreligious), God loves everyone. If you're moral and live up to standards, no matter your sexuality, you receive one level of eternal glory.

2. I hate them as well; and I hope you don't feel as though I'm shoving my beliefs down your throat - I'm just trying to make a point that religion isn't as cut and dry as people say it is.

3. On abortion, you would technically be Pro-Choice (as in, supporting that it's the woman choice).

4. I don't either; this is why I have people who've studied old English and other scriptures to help me explain. xD

5. This is why I never let other people - whether of my faith or not - tell me what I should do as a Christian. It's a distraction and it stirs up contention.

6. I was like that for a long time; very Agnostic I was. I studied things out for myself and came to the truths I know by seeking them myself.

In sum: My belief is that the LGBT communities are all divine beings like the rest of us, and moral people receive some sort of eternal glory after death. The Bible has been mistranslated so many times that it's hard to understand (and I have people/other books to explain what I don't get), I don't let other people's opinions of my faith bother me. I'm glad you've found what you believe and I hope you don't feel like I'm shoving my beliefs down your throat; just trying to explain that religion isn't as black-and-white as people make it to be.
I-Wuv-Muffins chapter 2 . 10/12/2011
I understand where you're coming from in the whole loss of faith thing. I am a Christian, but I definitely have gone through huge times of doubt. I hate it when people "should" on me (if you say it fast, it kind of sounds like "shit" haha) too. I hope that you can find truth in your life. I think that if you seek truth-like, the deepest level of truth, then you will find it.
I-Wuv-Muffins chapter 1 . 10/12/2011
I've always felt that way- that these cruel and sad thoughts are demons. I hate them because they make you feel like all the good and happy things that happen to you are fleeting, and the dark demons will once again take over.

I totally hear you on this. 3
cassandove chapter 1 . 10/11/2011
I absolutely love The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Also, I'm glad you like my poem. :)
white blank page chapter 1 . 10/11/2011
I love the night, yet I hate it, too.