|Reviews for Black Cross|
| deadkitty1 chapter 2 . 10/30/2011
Very nice cliffhanger! Moved quickly right into the action. I think the change from werewolves to demons wasn't that big of a transition and I can still follow the story. I'm now starting to think why demons, exorcists, and humans would all go to school together. It seems like a very big contradiction in itself. Demons eat Human souls and Exorcists kill Demons. It's a crazy predicament but I'll go with it~ :)
The descriptions in the beginning where Ikuto was fighting his demon side is very vivid. As for who she might end up with, I'd rather be surprised. Besides it's your story! Hehehe~
| SanjiandSerea chapter 2 . 10/30/2011
Very, very good for some reason this is reminding me of vampire knight and woah death in a second chapter, man I wasn't expecting that or maybe he doesn't die. Yeesh I don't think I'll understand authors who use cliff hangers as a contstant ending I for one use them when they need to be used but then again it's just me. Well awesome job and Ja Ne for now SanjiandSerea!
| kilainomix7 chapter 2 . 10/29/2011
Yet another chapter well done.
| deadkitty1 chapter 1 . 10/26/2011
A few of the sentences seem a bit off but the story was understandable. You don't need to get overly descriptive by throwing in more adjectives or adverbs than necessary. Sometimes simple sentences explain things more than complicated ones. I like the mystery and poetry of the prologue to Yuuya's character. Although you did very well with the descriptions, I do hope there will be more dialogue between the characters very soon.
| kilainomix7 chapter 1 . 10/15/2011
I think your story is wonderful, and that you have a critical eye for your spellings. Your grammar is quite strong for a Japanese, too. You express the fluidity rather fluent and I can't wait to read your second chapter.
Ganbatte kudasai! :3
| SanjiandSerea chapter 1 . 10/12/2011
Alright I read your story and I'll tell you how to improve upon it greatly.
DO NOT I repeat DO NOT mix languages, it's very jarring don't use Japanese unless it's to describe something related to Japanese culture like kimono or tatami.
You could describe your main character a little better, we really don't have many clues to how she looks, so try and open it up just a little more.
Aside from this you're doing really good so good luck and thank you very much.
P.S. Would you mind reviewing my Gobou Doujou Otome and giving me a little feedback.