Reviews for traversion
xhaiiro chapter 1 . 10/13/2011
Haunting, ambiguous, lovely.
skersey chapter 1 . 10/13/2011
This is a very interesting piece. It is very dynamic device-wise with imagery, alliteration etc. If this was an actual picture, it would be incredibly detailed! Nothing is left unnoticed, from the bugs/insects, to the scenery, to the man at the end. My only qualm with this piece is the fact that the end is so simple, it provides the most basic snapshot of the scene. Though the previous stanzas are very well-written, it just seems like there is a very large contrast/disconnect between the last two lines and the rest of the poem. I feel the last two lines are terse, abrupt, and sort of rushed, since you took a lot of time to describe everything else. Perhaps you could flesh this out a little more, and use the same or similar style for the ending as you used for the rest of the piece. Keep writing!