Reviews for Mother of Learning
ReaderJustA chapter 5 . 10/19/2011
well this looks interesting I look forward to reading more
crwynn chapter 5 . 10/18/2011
Woot! I've always loved the concept of groundhog day, and wrapping it around fantasy is even better.

Enjoying the story so far, and really looking forwards to seeing how Zorian deals with this.

Thanks for your story!
SilentWhisperWolf chapter 5 . 10/17/2011
I remember feeling a sense of loss when i realised there were no more chapters to be read as of now, but you only just posted this us the other day so 5 whole chapters was fantastic :) I really like Zorian and how he really isn't anything that special right now. He's like a side character suddenly thrust into the main role. When i began reading about Zach I just laughed because it was like reading a timetravel story from a side character's point of view. I also like how you put in the normal period of time for Zorian first, because there are so many events there that he missed out on the first time that i just know he'll explore eventually, like the sewer run and i can't wait to see him impress -well maybe not impress- but get Xvim to teach him more once he improves with his basics. I'll definitely be looking forward to any more chapters you put up.
Peak of Triumph chapter 1 . 10/17/2011
Awesome story thus far! I really like the originality. Been following your stuff since Scorpions Apprentice. Dissapointing to see that one finish but good to see your still trucking along. Ill be following this one religiously.

Keep up the good work.
Aster Stark chapter 5 . 10/17/2011
Good, strong protagonist. Story summary has a missed word in it: "woke up exactly month in the past". I like that your system of magic is rational. Needs a more sweeping narrative, the viewpoint is too narrow, and with your protagonist being something of a misanthrope the supporting characters are presented with a distinct lack of vitality.

If I hadn't been a fan from your story, I probably would have given up after your first few paragraphs; your hook isn't very strong or appealing. That said, once I did get into the story I enjoyed all the small nuances of your strong protagonist and the new mystery introduced in the later chapters.

Thanks for sharing! I totally hope you keep writing! You have a talent that needs to be nurtured!

Starkaster
BurnNote chapter 5 . 10/17/2011
I enjoyed it so far, I really have a weakness for this kind of plot.

My comments:

1. check your spelling/grammar. Especially bad in the first two chapters. You slip back and forth between past and present. A beginner's mistake, I know from your other work you can do better. I guess you wrote those a while ago?

2. You introduce too many characters and give them not enough screen time. There were several times when I wondered "who is that again?". Not good. For the longest time I thought Zach and the guy with the firelizard were the same person. Not sure how to fix that though.

3. The review session as a way to drop some exposition was nicey done. Very clever.

4. Good setup in the 4. chapter. It gives a glance of things to come, shows the villain and his threat and poses several mysteries. Very good conclussion to the introductionary arc.

5. On that matter, I think it ran on a bit too long. I see several things that might be foreshadowing, but it's still somewhat dry.

6. Does Zorian remember the end of his first live? It's not clear in the story, but I don't think so. Either way, make it a bit clearer.

7. Every now and then you seem to replace Zorian with Simon. There seems to be no rhyme or reason for this. Very bizare.

8. Good work on establishing a background. Especially on Damien. I look forward to seeing him in the story.

9. The worldbuilding as a whole is pretty neat. It does feel like a real world. Could use some unique factor, as is it's average and unremarkable.

Cheers
voider chapter 5 . 10/17/2011
this was a really good read;

Q: Didn't Zorian hear Zach's conversation with the Lich? ... shouldn't he draw some conclusions from their talk?

Also, Zach had a group of new friends. Zorian didn't investigate them. Was he too busy? Or forgot about them?

v
Zealot chapter 5 . 10/17/2011
Very interesting. Hope to see more updates soon!
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