|Reviews for The Love's Candle Inn|
| Dragon made me do it chapter 1 . 11/6/2011
How love-ly ... sorry couldn't resist.
I think you pulled off the second person perspective perfectly, the words just flowed so naturally which worked so well with romantic imagery. do not change this!
I too was expecting something darker to come from around a corner, although I'm not sure that I was disappointed that it didn't. In a way what you did was more original because it takes you out of your bog standard horror.
Loved the civil war couple. and yes, I agree the story really was about them.
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 10/21/2011
Opening-I liked this opening, I think it was the thing that reminded me most of Faulkner's "A Rose For Emily", especially because it felt like you were right away using a unique voice and perspective of the "we" and "you". I loved how you started it with a small town feel, too, like a very warm and inviting place-Love's Candle Inn, though just had something about it that felt it would be much more dangerous than it turned out to be overall.
Characters- The setting becomes the character, in this, and I like how you have the two mixed hand in hand. It's a unique perspective I've never seen before for a character voice and I think you do a great job with it throughout the whole thing. I also liked the character of the hostess and the lovers too, you illustrate them clearly as far as voices. Visually I didn't really get a good look at them, but I feel our "human" characters are supposed to be vague and more stock than anything. The Civil War couple was a good touch, but again, with their characters, I really felt like you were going a more sinister route than you actually did, and kind of felt myself a bit disappointed that everything appeared to work out with a happy ending for them-I was expecting something a bit more darker from you, maybe. Unless his returning from war was meant to be more figurative and it was a ghost or something-but I read it literal so I think that was the correct way to read into it. After reading a lot of your other stuff I think I was just on the look out to read into things more than what's actually meant to be there.
Dialogue- Loved the dialogue play involving the hostess and how you created a story through the dialogue that was also meant to be something more "ignored" by our contemporary lovers. It was clever and well crafted, and I like how you also incorporated the "we" into the assumptions of what the contemporary lovers would react and think about while the hostess is speaking to them.
Enjoyment- I enjoyed this overall, really, I liked the language you used and the poetic images towards the end involving the love making-I think you transitioned into that very gracefully. The only thing I didn't like was that I really felt there was so much foreshadow in this for something more sinister or ghost-like that was going on-but nothing ever came of it. It really had an incredible eeriness to it with the concept of the lover waiting with the candle for her husband's safe return-you just expect these things to always end badly, so I mean, in a way I think it's also good that you end it positive too. Just wasn't something I expected, though now thinking about it, I'm not sure that's such a bad thing, either, ha!
| A Fire Rose chapter 1 . 10/21/2011
Not a fan of second person, but great imagery throughout. It also is paced nicely. However, this should definately be rated more than K. It should at least be T, but probably M. Young folks should not be caught off guard with this - it has a lot of detail. "Relight" should probably be "re-light." The second person point of view, at least the way you use it, sounds like you're telling the reader what to say instead of what they say. It also sounds almost like you assume them to be a woman by the mannerisms, but I could be wrong. There wasn't really a plot, either - this was more a vignette.