Reviews for The Birth of Something New
Vivace.Assai chapter 1 . 7/10/2012
Okay, so I'm going to just read one chapter right now and get back to this after I've caught up with other stories I need to catch up on. But I'm doing this to set my commitment to this story. So onto the review!

So far, I can see that Cindy and Marisa are really good friends. They like to tell stories with one another. They like to comfort one another. They know each other pretty well. Into the specifics of the characters themselves: Cindy appears to be troubled over something. A break-up perhaps? But with you (and your simple twists), it might be something else. Maybe it's family-related since there was a jab about family somewhere in this first chapter. But there hasn't been a set definition for Cindy beyond the fact she's sad and wants to hear Marisa tell her story. On the other hand, it's clear Marisa is a shy girl and she's more soft-spoken than her twin sister - by the way, I love that you used twins since it kind of plays with that similar but completely different idea we all love. She also isn't really judgmental as seen by the way she defends her sister and understands her sister is a good person. So overall you have two nice main characters.

I'm really curious is seeing more of them when I get back to this again. And I'll try to figure out the 3 plot twists (and fail miserably) - just watch and see...

Thanks for the great read!

Signing off...
seredemia chapter 9 . 1/4/2012
YES. TIME FOR THE UNVEILING OF THE FINAL TWIST. I SHALL REVIEW AS I READ SO YOU'LL KNOW EXACTLY WHAT MY REACTION IS! :)

SO CINDY LOVES HER TOO? OH MY GOD. I CAN SEE WHY YOU SAID IT WOULD BE QUITE OBVIOUS ONCE WE KNOW. DAMN IT! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS? WHAT THE. I WANT TO PUNCH MYSELF. NO WONDER SHE KEPT ASKING ABOUT ERIC! DUH.

And aah, the special day! Christmas! Hehe, I'm guessing you posted this near Christmas, huh? Good effect! Gwah. That was such a good twist! What with all the chapter titles, the songs, and everything! Gwah! Everyone was just thinking TOO MUCH, but the twist was far simpler than that!

I really enjoyed reading this story. The best thing about it was the simplicity and the way you just brought everything out. Everything was simple, but your twists and mysteries were what made this story stand out. :) It's been a pleasure to read this story! :)
Vernelley chapter 9 . 12/28/2011
Hmm well to be honest with you, I kind of saw that coming. Mainly when Marisa confided in Gaby that she was in love with Cindy. I kind of expected it to be reciprocated. Plus the fact that the Max guy who was introduced earlier in the story was just a friend.

Didn't think it'd be Christmas though. Although I think I am excused for not noticing hints like the snowy garden since where I live Christmas is in summer :P

Anyway, interesting twist in the end. Don't normally read this kind of thing so this was a first.
Vernelley chapter 8 . 12/28/2011
There are some really interesting points made about the fragility of domestic harmony in this chapter, and they're pondered quite effectively throuh Marisa's narration.

It's rather frustrating that Eric's mother doesn't believe the truth and thinks it's all fabricated to land him in jail. On the other hand, it's quite relieving for Marisa to know that the rest of his family don't bear grudges against her for it. Judging from their dialogue Eric has transformed into something completely unrecognizable. That's quite scary to imagine.

I'm a little out of the loop so I really have no idea what could be so special about the special day.

Oh by the way I'm reviewing this via mobile, can't get on a computer very often.
TheAnnakpick chapter 9 . 12/25/2011
Awwww soo cute! I loved it:)
seredemia chapter 8 . 12/22/2011
Last chapter, I was wondering about his famiy... So its good you wrote about them here! It's nice that you've shown us the consequences of Eric's idiotic decisions. Not only has he hurt Cindy and Mary, but also the people closest to him.

[What if Gabriëlla would rape a guy, or Jake, or Yuri rape a girl? Not that I would ever see them do it, but what if? Or what if I… Not that I'd ever do it either, but still… would the family peace, the nice dynamics we had, be disrupted just as easily?]

- I loved this part. It just shows how kind and compassionate Mary's character is. She empathises with his family instead of just throwing sympathy at them. That really shows something about her character.

And it does bring home what Eric has done, and how its really... surprising. If his family is that surprised, then that must mean that its really not like him... And that hes hidden it all these years, which gives him MORE of a psycho personality...

AND GWAH. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CLIFFHANGER. YOU BETTER UPDATE SOON! :D
seredemia chapter 7 . 12/22/2011
Ugh, tell me about it. I want the non HTML fictionpress again... They had this MONTHS ago, and it took them ages to get it back to normal... In fact, that was the reason why I abandones fictionpress for about three months... xD It takes me ages to edit the HTML and so on...

You can tell the girls are really passionate about singing! They make it sounds so fun and glorious, which is miraculous seeing as I despise singing and so on.

Oh, so the court with Eric has already passed..? DAMN IT. MY GUESS WAS WRONG. THE SHAME. THE FEELING OF UTTER SHAME. But geez... Eric is pretty psycho. What is so special about Cindy? (No offense, Cindy) Why would he put so much effort in one girl, even when he's in prison..?

I give up trying to guess what the special day is. I DON'T KNOW. *cries buckets of tears*
seredemia chapter 6 . 12/22/2011
Aah... HTML. I used to make websites so whenever fictionpress goes haywire, I thank my five year experience with HTML websites... Anyway, if you want a new paragraph, you just type in {/P}{P} (but instead of the brackets, you use the greater and less than symbols) :D

I cant imagine singing in front of a bunch of people... The thought just scares me... I love the song Family Tree by Venice, by the way!

And NOO. Eric is a deceitful, lying, MEANIE. HE GIVES THE NAME 'ERIC' A BAD REPUTATION. I'm a bit disappointed in Mary for doubting Cindy... Isn't it the biggest best friend rule to choose your friends over a boy..? But I suppose that just means she really was in love with Eric. So much that she couldnt even think properly...

HA. MARY IS GOOD. YOU GO GIRL. That was really clever of her to realise that Cindy was innocent! And Eric! What a b*stard!

"You're nothing, compared to her. You're worthless. I never wanted you. I've been wanting Cindy ever since she joined choir, but she had refused me all that time. When you came around, I thought I could grab my chance. I started dating you to get to her. But even then, she didn't want me."

- WHAT A JERK. WHAT AN IDIOT. WHAT KIND OF DUDE SAYS THIS.

AND HE KEPT A PIECE OF STRING TO SMELL HER? WHAT. THE. HELL. HOW CREEPY IS THIS DUDE?

Anyway, great chapter once again! :)
seredemia chapter 5 . 12/22/2011
I'm guessing the special day is like... Eric being taken for trial..? Er, that's all my guess is... And I wonder what Gaby wants her to tell Cindy..? She's already told Cindy that Gaby liked Max... but... HMM. And trying to help her? HUH. I AM FOREVER CONFUSED. I WANT TO KNOW. And stuck with what? I HAVE NO IDEA. MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE MARY IS PREGNANT. *gasp* No, thats a silly guess. But GWAH. I HAVE NO ABSOLUTE CLUE.

HOLY CRAPOLA. I DID NOT EXPECT THAT. HOLY COW. I AM SHOCKED BEYOND BELIEF. WHY DIDN'T I SEE IT COMING. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. WHY DIDN'T I GUESS THAT. THIS IS WOAH. WHAT THE. WOAH. SUCH A DAMN GOOD TWIST!

AND WHAT IS THE SPECIAL DAY? Oh my GOD. SO MANY QUESTIONS. I AM GOING INSANE. I MUST KNOW THEM ALL.

Anyway... such a great twist! I do love stories that get me surprised! :)
seredemia chapter 4 . 12/22/2011
Gosh, this is such an intense sleepover... Usually, when I go to a sleepover to my friends, we just watch scary movies all night and eat junk food... I like it though. It's like a miystery waiting to be solved, like what Eric did, what happened, and so on. I like the way you write it out too. It's simple and it's only two girls talking, but thats what makes it good. The fact that you turned something so simple into a deep story full off mystery and questions :D

And wow, at first I thought Cindy was faking it when she said that Max was only her friend. But seeing her reaction (or lack of it) to Gaby liking him, I was wrong... So Max and her are only friends... That's good, seeing as Max does look pretty genuine! I mean, he's not like Eric, and he seems friendly enough :)Oh, I wonder why Cindy is crying here... And GWAH. I do like Max or being her friend! I'm always a sucker for those best friend type stories (if you cant already tell with my own story... xD), so its bummer that they arent anything romantic... *heartbroken*

"I… I don't deserve you. Get out. Go to Eric and tell him you love him very much."

- BUURRNN. Ouch. Biatch moment.

HOLY. FOOKING. SH*T. DID I PREDICT THIS ON MY LAST REVIEW. *checks my last review* OMG. YES. YES I DID. I RULE. NONE OF MY SPECULATIONS ARE EVER RIGHT. OMG. FOR ONCE, I GET IT RIGHT. I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD GET AN AWARD OR SOMETHING.

"Eric. And [she] said you'd… you'd never believe me."

- I think you meant 'he said you'd never... etc' :)

I get the feeling that Gaby is more important in the story... Hmm... Maybe she's part of the twists... Maybe...

Anyway, great chapter as always! I'll be reviewing later today as well, so watch out for it :)
seredemia chapter 3 . 12/19/2011
Cindy is kinda annoying. Cant she see that her friend doesnt want to talk about it? She's never gonna be able to move on from Eric if she keeps dwelling in the past...

Aah, I can imagine Eric being a typical manslag... Or something like that. You know, the type to just play around with girls for the entertainment of it. Such a shame he has a nice name... _

HEAVY AND CRIMINAL? OH MY GOD. WHAT IF ERIC KILLED SOMEONE. OR RAPED SOMEONE. GWAH. OKAY. SPECULATIONS.
seredemia chapter 2 . 12/19/2011
I wonder what's so bad about Eric... Eric is my favourite name for a boy. Surely if he has such a nice name, he wouldnt be that bad... LOL. Okay, maybe not. I hope we get to hear more about Eric later in the story.

I like the contrast of these two friends. Theyre friends, but they have a lot of differences. However, I get the feeling that these two friends aren't as... close as they look like. I dunno. It was when she proposed to be Cindy's sister, but really, she didn't want Cindy to respond. It's like she has some sort of... dislike with Cindy. Maybe a grudge? Maybe Cindy did something wrong in the past.

And the special day.. MAYBE ITS A FUNERAL AND SOMEONE DIED. :O Er, thats my speculation... xD
TheAnnakpick chapter 8 . 12/18/2011
NOOOOO! That can't be it for now:( Please update soon!
Vernelley chapter 6 . 12/13/2011
The confrontation of Eric in the flashback is actually pretty believable, I think. The excuses and justification, pushing the blame on the innocent party, then sudden change in expression seems quite realistic to me. But to think someone would actually go to that extent is just terrible. Thankfully he's locked up now.

I still wonder about what Cindy's reaction to Marisa falling for her will be. Maybe we'll see that soon?

I'll continue reviewing another day :)
Vernelley chapter 5 . 11/27/2011
Ooh. Okay. Definitely didn't see that one coming. I'd never have thought Marisa would actually fall for Cindy that way, so that was quite the unexpected twist. It'll be interesting to see how she confesses.

I'm still curious about the special day. Even if it's facepalm-worthy, I want to know what it is.

Overall, good job. Don't think I spotted any significant errors that detracted from the story, so that's good. Nice work.
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