You're one helluva writer. I haven't seen an amazing writer in so long a time and I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

I've read well over half of this now. It's very compelling, your language is rich and your characterisation deep. I might have liked less reflection on Matt's part in certain places.

The real achievement is how you've conveyed Jeff's experiences, his mentality as a groomed child highly confused about what 'love' is; your last sentences here in Chap 49 express this in a heartbreaking fashion. Your depiction of Harold/Thompson is similar. We presume he is a victim of his father's abuse, that it is a chain. His understanding of love is distorted

Another thing I've enjoyed is your lively portrait of more minor characters like Mrs Bibbs and Slim and Mrs Winthrop. The FBI agents and Derrick are also convincing as as Derrick's boss. It might have been good to see more of Bobby Lee perhaps.

There is a fair bit of repetition in this but that is probably in the nature of how you have all written. On the whole, the structure is clear and works. You've created suspense by revealing important information about Matt and the death of Jeff's mother at key points.

Your description of the southern environment, places and animals is very strong.

I'm impressed.

This has been such a wonderful story. The way you narrate is absolutely one of the best I have ever seen. The movie-like intro you had going on there at first threw me a bit, but I am deeply impressed with your sensitive characterization, vivid imagery, and lingering suspense.

There are some scenes that needn't have been so drawn out or repeated often — like Matt's inner consciousness or Jeff's overall uneasiness, but I'm so enamored by the two's dynamics that it doesn't truly bother me.

I love Matt. In Chapter One, I was confused by his indecision to help the little kid. He seemed overly paranoid, but I knew there HAD to be a reason behind it. When I found out he was black, bells of clarity sounded in my head.

This was back in the day; it made perfect sense that Matt would be averse to toting around an injured white kid. A blonde one, no less. Being black myself, the struggles of slavery and racism had been taught to me pretty much since I was three. I sympathized, but I was happy he helped the kid anyway.

Oh — one more note before I forgot. Jeff's name was a surprise. Since his first description: long blonde hair, green eyes, I saw him as a delicate, sweet-faced kid. Like his name should be Gabriel or Christian. The name Jeff, though, I attribute to more of a toughened, stockier child. It's so interesting to me.

Reading on.

i like how you came up with the exact number of footsteps. i want to hug jeff

This story was amazing! I loved it! Your characters are so detailed, I felt like I was right there running with Jeff and Matt. Thank you for sharing this! Very inspiring! :)

I'm only ten chapters in, but I want to commend how captivating this tale truly is. As someone who has survived brutal child abuse, I am incredibly moved by this book. Many of the inner workings of Jeff's mind is eerily accurate with mine and many child abuse survivors I know. I'm shocked and delighted that this is on fictionpress free of charge. Please continue writing and publishing! :)

I want to cry really I do when I read this chapter. It really makes me want to go in the story and wring Harold's neck for what he was inadvertently teaching this kid.

this story made me want to scream for so many diffrent reasons. now i understand what the reviewers meant when they said it will bring out all types of emotions. if it had any diffrent ending i wouldve just been disappointed. Great story. cant wait for sequel

This has definite appeal.

Please feel free to point out typos or grammatical errors! Any help to make the "second edition" better is appreciated :D And thanks! ~ the Author

thanx again for the updates -

if you like i can point out the typos i find and pm them to you.

Hi there,

A long overdue review. Firstly, I recalled that you mentioned if I could point out any typo's. I forgot what the others in the previous chapters were, but in this one I spotted 2 but can only find one XD. The first is in the line: Jeff looked at the man, amazement plain. Why is he's... I think that he's should be 'he' maybe?

Now that that is done with, to the story. The way you depict the characters is done in an incredibly realistic manner. The old southern woman interacter with Matt was brilliant, how neither, due to circumstances, could not do much to help Jeff. It is so true in life. The reader gets a feeling of helplessness for their part and Jeff's part due to the situation. I felt very sad at what Jeff had to go home to and especially in the fact that during his mortifying ordeal he also found some comfort. It is very true to life unfortunately.

The bravery on the count of Matt makes the reader worried about what will happen but also applaud him for wanting to make a difference and, even though his persona's don't like it, he is going to keep his word and want to help Jeff. It's so very sad how many children go through what Jeff did. You did a great job at the ending and it leaves the reader in suspense as to what might happen. I have a suspicion what happens, but will rather not speculate until I have read it. Well done!

I finished reading the first chapter and I must admit, it is a truly intriguing tale. I can relate to how the main character Matt had so many struggles within himself. I don't know much about the South and if they are still so racialistic it is truly sad. Unless the story takes place when the horrors of racialism abounded. It is a tricky situation for Matt with coming across the injured boy.

Your descriptions were as vivid as stated and it has been a truly long time that I have read a story with next to no typos and that flows so smoothly whil not detracting from the story being told. I will endeavour to read more as time allows. Good write!

Thanx for the update

are you serious? you stopped the story at the climax! please update D