|Reviews for Falling, Falling|
| Ioga chapter 1 . 12/11/2011
Arr yeah, I managed to update my reader after some two months of just reading old stuff - and promptly found a Halloween story awaiting! Yay!
I liked the way we only find out what exactly happened towards the end - I had forgotten the title by the time and went ohhhh when he fell.
I had some trouble correctly detecting the shifts back and forward in the story - it sounded a bit like he walks out of Chloe's after telling her goodbye, kills Nate and then himself, or that he walks out of Chloe's, the end, and in a flashback kills Nate and then himself.
...which, now that I think of it, would actually be kind of cool. Dead guy (or guy who lives in multiple times at once) comes to say sorry, inherit my stuff, bye, and no one notices he's dead (not even people he talks to) before we find out he died.
Also, who held the knife and for what purpose and what on earth just happened was left a bit vague, but that doesn't matter so much. People dying by accident is bound to be like that.
Minor nitpick: In the start, "afterwords" - Freudian lapse? - Afterwards?
Please don't worry so much about the updates to existing stories; it's a good thing you have a yearly prompt to write _something_ to keep up the routine. Sidetracks are completely ok if they feel easier to write than the larger fics, and even permanent distractions are entirely permitted. Everything you post here is a gift, and no one can fairly expect you to chug out chapters like a factory when not even the authors who do it for money can guarantee that they'll have an inspiration come a-knocking regularly, even less on a specific story. As a free author, you actually have the freedom to let a story lie in wait for a better time for as long as you like, rather than forcefully finish it in a way that you're not happy with (or while forcing yourself so hard the output just doesn't feel like your own).
You mentioned you could write more of the topic than you did, but it's good that you posted what you have. If you get interested in extending this story later in life, I'd be particularly curious to know what Nate's issue was with not saving Chloe properly.
All in all, a nice Halloween triangle piece with a touch of the morbid and frilly innocence! Thanks for this!