|Reviews for Swallow the White Feather|
| mousegirl05 chapter 14 . 6/3/2012
Hm, I'm not really sure how I missed this chapter (and the last for that matter) being posted, but here I am to read it! What a fascinating couple of chapters! It's exciting to see Micah fly-even if the first attempt was a litteral crash and... well, I guess he didn't burn, but I think a collapsed lung is a type of 'burn'. Anyway, excellent additions and I love the fact that Si caught them kissing. I was so afraid it was gonna be Dominic... *pales* Poor Dominic. But I suppose Si is NOT going to be happy about this at all. Alexander is really getting himself into some sticky soup, isn't he?
| doryane chapter 1 . 5/30/2012
| JHeartbreak chapter 14 . 4/5/2012
You've been trying out a more poetical style I see. I think it's good but it needs some polishing. Such as this early sentence: "Every feather became alight with the sun streaming in through the leafless trees- glass bright, painful as starlight." It's beautiful, but there are too many 'ight' words in one sentence. It sounds awkward. Later on"...their skin tones in the slither sunlight still slanting in through the large sanatorium window." Way too many S sounds. It's positively Swinburnian.
I enjoy that Alex and Micah kiss. I hate what it will do to Dominic, but that's not the number one thing I am thinking about when they kiss so that's a success. If I only feel dread then it's not much of a love triangle... more of a stress triangle.
I hope you do find the inspiration to continue sometime. You might have to ditch the whole thing and start from scratch again, let the ideas and characters and situations rearrange in your mind. Whatever works.
And the hospital bed scene was cute... I don't at all mind it. And it would be pretty hard to convince me you don't have a thing for hospital bed cuddling anyways, because it seems like the perfect symbol for many themes in your work - tenderness amid suffering. Amirite? I'm pretty much right.
| IThinkIJustFoundHeaven chapter 14 . 4/4/2012
You have to put it on hold NOW? Just after they kiss? AND after Si finds them like that? Meh. I is sad. Please find inspiration soon! I will miss them.
| DawnSister chapter 2 . 4/4/2012
Well what a hell of a morning Alexander's having. I feel for him, I really do.
There are some interesting characters in this chapter and an awful lot of apathy. I hope this is because of the main character's feelings and not because the entire school is like this.
HE's got a lot of issues has Alexander. I hope there's someone to help him feel a bit better about his situation.
I will find time to read the rest of this, I promise,
| GreenGrass1 chapter 14 . 4/4/2012
Every feather became alight with the sun streaming in through the leafless trees- glass bright, painful as starlight – love this sentence!
Everything narrowed down to a single point of sensation, a single point of contact, tongue against tongue. – also love!
Poor Micah. His maiden flight and he ended up with a collapsed lung. That must hurt. But at least he got to kiss Alexander .
Give yourself a break. It's hard to finish a story when you aren't having fun. Maybe you'll come back with a vengeance. Looking forward to your update whenever that may be.
| JHeartbreak chapter 13 . 3/24/2012
Hopefully Micah doesn't end up in the hospital... he might need some hospital bed cuddling.
Good chapter. I like the weird sexual dynamics.
| IThinkIJustFoundHeaven chapter 13 . 3/23/2012
I love this story and the way you write is just so personal. You truly feel a connection with the environment.
| GreenGrass1 chapter 13 . 3/23/2012
I am so happy when I check my email and see an update from you! A wonderful chapter as usual. I like the contrast between dream-like scene when Alexander "connects", to the reality. The tea thing is amusing. At the end I thought: finally we are going to see Micah fly, but you end it as he jumped. Now I have to wait for next chapter.
But that's fine. I'm enjoying this story very much.
A couple of things:
The cheap vanish - varnish, maybe?
He longer to fucking pull - longed to fucking pull?
Anyway, thanks for the update. Looking forward for more!
| Limited Edition chapter 2 . 2/29/2012
This is moving along quite well! I'm quite liking it. One thing to watch out for would be adverbs and words for emphasis. IE easily, thankfully, really, exactly, and so on. I caught quite a few of those. Otherwise, I liked the bluntness of the language as well.
| IThinkIJustFoundHeaven chapter 12 . 2/27/2012
Your writing is just gorgeous. I've seen this story show up on my searches several times but I've always ignored it but now I'm questioning that. Hahah. Keep this up. I will be waiting anxiously. This is just amazing.
| JHeartbreak chapter 12 . 2/26/2012
The dylan thomas poem you quoted earlier really does fit this story - almost to the point where I wonder if you were inspired by the poem in the first place.
I like Alexander and Dominic together. They are sweethearts.
This latest development is eerie and cool. What will happen?
| mousegirl05 chapter 12 . 2/25/2012
Yeah, not very helpful, but whoa was this a fun chapter. The bit between Si and Grey was stellar. They really are the very best. More and more, I'm curious what's going on between Dominic and Alexander. I really liked Dominic. *pets* Good hook at the end of this chapter. I'll be back. _
| prostock69 chapter 12 . 2/25/2012
Whoa...really loved this chapter. I like the Dominique and Alexander are getting closer and the ending was spooky :)
| GreenGrass1 chapter 12 . 2/24/2012
I like this chapter. Short and sweet. Sometimes after all the action and drama, readers will need to catch their breath and chapter like this is perfect for that. To prepare the reader for the next plot development.