|Reviews for Swallow the White Feather|
| Nebulad chapter 12 . 2/23/2012
I enjoy this story very much - you do faeries and stuff so well, and you describe things so sharply, y'know? Keep going -
| prostock69 chapter 11 . 2/14/2012
God I am dense! I never even thought that Micah and Si were brothers! The plot thickens. So something/someone comes from the dark and takes faeries and pins them in the cavern to kill them or take their wings? I'm very interested in what the Dark truly is.
| JHeartbreak chapter 11 . 2/13/2012
The plot thickens a little more...
I have a little worry that I'll share with you. The fantastic elements of this story have a kind of brittle plasticity that really stands out against the impressionistic flow of the rest of the story, or against the other stories you write.
Are you familiar with Coleridge's distinction between the Fanciful and the Imaginative? Essentially, Fancy is the human faculty that consciously sticks things together and leaves them there, and Imagination is the one that uses the unconscious to merge them all together. It's like the difference between a few tomatoes in a bowl of cream and cream of tomato soup.
My worry is that the fantastical elements lean more towards the Fanciful than the Imaginative. I find the fairies with their wings and strangenesses to be a little dependant on Fancy. Nothing about them seems beyond the human - the appear to be just humans with a few more faculties. Things that strike me as imaginative are mostly the tableaux you've set out - Micah with the mirror, the tunnels in general, and especially this latest development. Alexander's abilities swerve back and forth in my mind from Fancy and Imagination.
I hope this is at all helpful. I think these issues are keeping this story from being as great as 'This is not a love story"; however, the practice you're getting with them paves the way for further developments. Surely, your surreal style can only be aided by a deft use of fantasy.
| DawnSister chapter 1 . 2/12/2012
Oooo good start. I know his circumstances and his attitude to it and can't wait to see how he copes in the morning.
I love your descriptions of the place. Especially the sick coloured walls. I particularly liked "black eyed holes in a gigantic face" so even your building has character. Sinister, shiver.
Thanks for sharing this, and I will read on in anticipation,
| Surrealistic Perfection chapter 11 . 2/11/2012
I'm at a loss for words, I just spent the last hour or so reading all 11 chapters and I love the story. I don't wanna has to wait for the next chapter to find out what happens next.
| GreenGrass1 chapter 11 . 2/11/2012
The fast-pace continues from the previous chapter to this chapter. Some mystery is revealed - the relationship between Si and Micah and then you heaped up some more (which is good - it will keep us guessing). I think the six opening paragraphs to set mood and setting are very well-done.
| Linq chapter 10 . 2/7/2012
I ship Alexander and Micah and Alexander and Grey ;3
| JHeartbreak chapter 10 . 1/29/2012
Good stuff good stuff. I'm beginning to see how tightly you've plotted this story, which is exciting. There's a lot that can happen, and I feel like you have more things up your sleeve that I can't even predict.
I like Dominic more than Micah, probably because he's been made more emotionally real in the story. We can see into him, and see that he's so worthy of love and appreciation. Micah is so mysterious, which is kind of alluring but isn't really the foundation of a relationship. I feel like this is some kind of metaphor, with Micah being, like, spiritual reality and Dominic being earthly reality.
| GreenGrass1 chapter 10 . 1/28/2012
Everything is unfolding nicely in this fast-paced chapter. Very nice. I myself like Alexander and Dominic together but it's your story, whichever pairing you will end up with will be good I am sure.
| prostock69 chapter 10 . 1/28/2012
Ch. 10: Wheee! I love that Alexander has woken up sexually. He thinks about being with Dominic 24/7.
The fight he got into was amazing! So he has super-human strength as well! And now we know that Grey brought Micah to the boys school too because of what he is. I'm dying to know more about them!
| mousegirl05 chapter 10 . 1/27/2012
So I'm going with incubus. Or something like that. Yeah. Something like that. Because all of the sudden having Micah warm up too? Yeah some sort of seductive thing. lol
A little tired to do my standard poking. I enjoyed this chapter-and hadn't seen that coming about Jack at all. Now I wanna know why he was looking and being a d-bag about the whole thing. I'm sure you'll tell us.
Grey is awesome as always.
*I* Wanna see Dominic and Micah end up together and Alexander to end up with that Elzirel (sp?). Yeah. Probably just me wanting to be contrary and unexpected _
| stylinkendoll129 chapter 10 . 1/27/2012
I definitely think that you should keep Alexander and Dominic together. However I think that threesomes are hott so Alex, Dominic, and Micah would be a good thing to see too. But if it only had to be two stick with Dominic and Alexander.
| XxrainingshadowxX chapter 10 . 1/27/2012
Aww, I really wanna see MicahAlexander loving, but if they do something then Dominic will be so sad and something bad will happen...something bad is TOTALLY happening to one of them...I just wish Alexander could have them both, save bad things from happening to either of them...
| mousegirl05 chapter 9 . 1/24/2012
Aw. Last chapter for me to read tonight. I'm already disappointed...
First paragraph, it's confusing when you use a pronoun for a subject that has not yet been introduced. What I mean is this, in the last sentence, the reader has to get to the end of the sentence to confirm that Alexander is the 'he' who saw Grey hurrying. While this has been sticking to Alexander's POV, the most correct convention is to identify the subject/noun before referencing it with a pronoun. (in that sentence, it really could have been ANYONE in the story thus far, except that one girl or Grey because maybe the subject had TOLD Alexander he saw Grey hurrying... see?) In sum, always give the name at least once at the earliest possibility before falling back on pronouns.
I am so interested in your take on these supernatural characters. If Alexander is a werewolf (or were of any kind) your vision of them is most fascinating. And if he's not, well, whatever he is, is awesome. I have read a story containing 'earth-witches' that seemed to have similar characteristics...
Grey's cute as ever. And Si's amazing. Your characters are so... reachable. I enjoy reading them. Poor Si and his snapping and Grey's lecturing. They're marvelous.
Not gonna lie... I'd love to see the cut scene in which Si got INTO Grey's old shirt...
Okay, so I didn't go back and check, but you've called it a boy's school here (when Grey is talking about his and Si's relationship). If you haven't already, go back and change all the mentions of the co-edness of this school. _ Sorry if you already have. :)
Oh Grey, so adorably blunt when he doesn't have to beat around the bush. My compliments. _
Oh Si, he's great. I want to know what he thinks of Alexander. Poor thing.
And oh fun! Flying. Micah opening up a little. Grand! I'm sure your next chapters will be lovely. _
Thanks as ever!
| mousegirl05 chapter 8 . 1/24/2012
Not to complain, but doors left accidentally open are... well... a little too convenient for my taste. It's kinda like horses that don't make a sound except when they need to alert the slave-hunters where the run-aways are desperately hiding. You know? It just has ‘tired writer’ stamped all over it. The open door works in this setting, believe me, and it's not REALLY a problem. I guess I'm just presenting a challenge for you to mull over. See what you can do when you strip your work of convenient 'outs' and 'fixes'. _ Though you know, it took some balls to sneak into Si's flat, I think, considering only hours ago Si was calling to Alexander mentally, AND was talking in his head.
Ooh, yikes. Don't touch the gruesome wall hangings evidently. Can Si still feel them? Poor thing.
Right now, I'm wondering what about Alexander is so attractive and drawing to Dominic. I mean, Dominic is outgoing with a good personality and stuff. Alexander is great don't get me wrong, but I can't help but wonder why Dominic wants him, given my guess that he could have anyone. Wow, this just sounds wrong. *laughs* I guess I'm wondering given the new senses and such Alexander is running into if he's emitting a pheromone of his own that's drawing Dominic into him. (I'm probably reading too much into the mysteries of your story, but it fits so well in my head I couldn't help but look past the reason-less-ness of attraction and desire.)
Oh. Heavens... HAWT.
Poor Dominic. I hope this doesn't end up hurting him... or Alexander. They're both sweethearts.
I loved the bit about the pattern in the dirt on the floor! Very good!
What I think? Every chapter gets better. That's what I think.