|Reviews for Unwired|
| S.R. Revel chapter 2 . 11/12/2011
Hi there again! I wanted to take the time needed to give this a good read, so sorry if after yesterday I got your hopes up for another review right away. Alas, today is Saturday and I feel the need to read.
I love how you’ve set it up with this possible ‘everything is more than meets the eye’ bit. But then again, you could be setting me up to totally flip it around, either way, you have my attention and I am thoroughly intrigued.
And the plot thickens. So the demon was using her all along and laughing at the irony of it all. Since I know elves by nature, well in the mythical definition, I know they really don’t liked being fucked with so I can see the wonderful foreshadowing that you’ve done in this chapter.
It’s interesting to see how quickly Rama’s and Tahlae’s relationship have developed. But you kind of get from the way you’ve written these two characters that there are certain traits they like in each other, so the closeness doesn’t seem to fast or forced.
I really liked how Rama opened up to her and let her in on all the evil deed his demon dad is doing under her nose.
You’ve managed to peak my interest again and I look forward to reading and reviewing the next chapter!
| S.R. Revel chapter 1 . 11/11/2011
Hi there! I will refrain from pointing out any typos because I’m just happy I had the opportunity to see what you’ve come up with.
So basically you had me at fantasy creatures, so I am in anyways. I love how your elf has full on green hair and black eyes. I already love her because she’s so unique.
You really set the mood well from having her walking down the street grabbing everyone’s attention to the patience she exhibits waiting for the demon. It gives the reader a sense of who she is, confident and mysterious. I’m enjoying getting to know her.
It’s wonderful how you drop hints here and there as to things about your world you’ve created. How certain things are illegal and how these beings live so opening but have to obey the same laws. And this revamping, which I assume means humans who change themselves into these beings. I hope I got that right.
I really enjoyed the initial conversation between Rama and Tahlae. He seems like a little kid and since she’s an elf you can kind of tell she’s got a good head on her shoulders, so it’s fun to see the converse.
You really set the story up well, and in spite of the fact that you’re having trouble with NaNo, I do hope you continue with this because I want to see what happens.