Reviews for Tormentor
Its Sammeh chapter 1 . 12/6/2011
Lela could remember the whole incident all to clearly.

Lela could remember the whole incident all "too" clearly.

She sat in the woods just outside town, it was the only safe place she go.

She sat in the woods just outside town, it was the only safe place she (can/could) go.

Lela felt she could relax her, with a deep breath she sat down on the steps of one of the buildings. (third paragraph)

Lela felt she could relax "here", with a deep breath she sat down on the steps of one of the buildings.

(under "Beyound the Darkness)

"Oh, so now you're getting brave" Queen said, unfazed, "But you're still gonna do what I say" she grabbed Lela by the hair and pulled her up from the floor. "Now put your little dress back on, you need too look nice and pretty for Dani" She her go and quickly Lela tried putting on her dress, which was practically torn apart.

"Oh, so now you're getting brave" Queen said, unfazed, "But you're still gonna do what I say" she grabbed Lela by the hair and pulled her up from the floor. "Now put your little dress back on, you need too look nice and pretty for Dani" She ("let") her go and quickly Lela tried putting on her dress, which was practically torn apart.

(under Rip Us Open)

Lela would then feel something in her hand. She looked down at her left hand and saw that she was holding a large knife, dripping with blood. It was the same knife Dani had used on her. "Go and get them, you know you want too"

Lela would then feel something in her hand. She looked down at her left hand and saw that she was holding a large knife, dripping with blood. It was the same knife Dani had used on her. "Go and get them, you know you want ("to")"

"Go get 'em Cinderella" Laughter sounded from all around. An unbelievable pain went throughout Lela's body like lightening.

"Go get 'em Cinderella" Laughter sounded from all around. An unbelievable pain went throughout Lela's body like "lighting".

She not stop until she found her safe place.

She "did" not stop until she found her safe place.

(under The Safe Place)

The woods where so peaceful but her mind was not.

The woods "were" so peaceful but her mind was not.
my poor toaster chapter 1 . 11/13/2011
I like how you used dani and queen, i was moderately sad when queen died. Not really (y'know, cuz she was evil) but sorta ;)
Shinamori chapter 1 . 11/6/2011
Nice story, truth be told. It was enjoyable.