|Reviews for Hate, love and war|
| Revamp chapter 3 . 12/15/2012
When I looked at your bio, it said that you wrote a horror story. Since I write horror myself (although my current horror works are short, like and Psychopath, I decided to give this a whirl. All in all, this was very interesting but very broken. Certain events needed to be expounded on and tied together in order to have them make clear and just sense to the reader. You left a lot of mysteries that could easily be cleared with changes to your writing or by adding another chapter to further explain vague points in your work.
All in all, this was a decent piece and I enjoyed reading it.
| Highway Unicorn chapter 1 . 9/21/2012
I really liked the first line/introduction. It hooked me right away and made me think why the speaker lost his last name.
I guess what I didn't like was how unclear everything is... I don't know if the mother is on the floor struggling to breath because of the father or because of something else...I suggest adding in a few extra details so that the readers get a better understanding of what exactly is going on.