|Reviews for Trithia|
| little egret chapter 1 . 12/6/2011
I didn't like the enjambments because it made the poem read disjointed and didn't flow correctly-I would be interested to see how this is intended to be read aloud, given where the line breaks are-it feels unnatural.
Third line has a typo, "i" should be capitalized.
I'm also wondering if maybe there should be more commas at the end of lines, like "I'm the queen[,]/the creator[,] the goddess of imaginary light." because you use semicolons and imply that correct grammar is being used but there's a list there and it's not punctuated correctly.
I did like the imagery, though, especially the bit with the fairies, because it was a beautiful description. I also liked the content as far as the imaginary world and the speaker going against the cliches-that made this poem really really cool for me. Absolutely loved the message and the triumph of the speaker.