Reviews for Seasons
scrubbybubbles chapter 1 . 10/1/2012
The idea behind your poems was interesting, and I did like certain things about them. However, I did have a problem with certain things..
First, why would you use 'round instead of around? That technique is usually only used when a certain syllable count needs to be maintained or the rhythm of the poem is meant to be quick, which you did not do here.
Also, you might want to add some periods...it becomes a little confusing in some places, which makes it hard for the reader to grasp the meaning of your words. For example, I loved the lines "Crickets gather, sing bold / Rocking chair creaks slow" for the imagery and loose rhyme, but the lack of any caesura (break) between the lines makes it seem as if your thoughts are disjointed or fragmented, rather than threads woven into a work of art.
You also might want to change "The rain drops to no stop" to "The rain drops without stop", for your line interrupts the flow of your words.
Also, I'm sorry to be a little nit-picky here, but there were also some discrepancies in your work. Spiders can not live outdoors during the winter, and fire cannot frost windows.
I enjoyed how you tried to connect each season with various senses and emotions, as it essentially displayed how you see each season. I apologize for this lengthy review, but thank you for the opportunity to view your work.