|Reviews for Nowhere to Hide (Old Version - To Be Remastered)|
| steph135 chapter 5 . 12/14/2012
wow beautiful imagery (esspecially in the very begining)
im sorry, its been awhile since i've read and reviewed. im glad i did today though!
anyway, i love the little bits of humor in this! for example;
Kidnap would be exaggerating... More like taking her out of her comfort zone."
"Yes. You're going to kidnap her."
lol i loved that. im excited for the next chapter! that ending was a little bit of a cliff-hanger ;) lol i love it. post again soon!
| shui chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
Hello sir i am from a china and i rely like read your story. it nice very much. i am enjoying when the character make good run in story. i wish you put in many much details of character day. like 'Bao Yu walk to the store and got some deodorant' or like 'Chang Ba-Mang Daoming ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast and she was hungry very much so she had the bowl for breakfast to'. it would add much plot to a story and you will have much readers to your website. also if you make a chapter much longer it will make me very sleepy and i will want to go to a sleep from many boredoms i have. make more action parts also. i am taking 11th year in english study i am doing a very good? i am hoping so. china is very well in doing this for i am having much fun today reading for you in the story. you need many characters to. how about including chinese boy he can be superstar like chinese dragon and make him have pair of chopsticks to fight long time with and when he gets hungry he can chow down on a nice bowl of shrimp noodle. yum! i am going to read much story now i will talk to you agane sometime i am hoping. you have nice day and dont forget to drink milk to gain many bones in body to be strong china man rawr o.k bye now (-.-) - china boy
| Ron chapter 1 . 8/11/2012
There are minor errors throughout the story (*brakes. mostly comma issues, but the description of James's mother can be revised to sound more "appropriate" for publishing), but the storyline itself seems smooth from what can be read. GL to you; keep working at it! :)
| alan chapter 1 . 7/21/2012
aye mayne dis da best shit i done read all day brah. lik seriously damn dis reminds me of myself wen i wuz a crip and gang bangin ya know? all dem explosions niggas runnin and shit jus lik me. and i had 2 shoot dem bloods and my neighbor cuz he saw me shoot dem. but im almost outta jail so its all gud mayne. dis really inspired me and shit wen i gets outta jail imma find u and we gonna right a book togetha and title it hood lyfe 4 foreva okay reply to dis homie im forreal nigga
alan aka cell block 2404
| Daniel Alonzo MN chapter 6 . 7/21/2012
I read your story many times. I read it in the shower, walking to the grocery mart, upside down on the jungle jim, in bible study, piano lessons, at my cousins wedding, crossing the road, at the mall, getting my haircut, watching reruns of hannah montana, while at my moms house, at target practice, heading to the funeral, at the funeral, after the funeral, while praying before sleep, outside of my house, in my car, at my neighbors lawn, while in a boat, during class, after class, before breakfast, while driving my golf cart, in my sisters bed, in the mens room, at the truck stop, during the jewish holidays, at the premiere of the new shop in my local shopping center, going through the sale rack at barnes and noble, in the pool, by my ex-wife, after meeting with my escort, during those romantic nights with my dog, and many more times. :-)
I am very interested in you. Let me tell you a little about myself
I like walking through the town. I also enjoy fine dining and classic jazz. I can treat you like you never been treated before. Want a relaxing massage? Lucky for you i went to school for that! Want someone to get you a glass of water at 2am? Lucky for you i went to culinary school!
Need someone to do your laundry? Lucky for you i am a former maid at the local Hilton Hotel!
Need that love and care and that caress of your strong significant other at night? Lucky for you I have alot of experience with that stuff ;-)
I know you might be lonely right now, but that's okay because I am in need of that permanent lover and you are to.
All i'm asking for is a chance. You are the finest piece of meat i've seen in awhile ;-)
i will be getting back to you soon. i hope you accept my offer at this commitment. remember i will treat you right.
To have and to hold,
-Daniel Alonzo Mc'Nelson
| The Comma King chapter 2 . 7/21/2012
You always forget commas in the most necessary spots, and I'm sorry, but that makes it very hard to read and enjoy.
| steph135 chapter 4 . 7/12/2012
hey, im back! once again, nice work. this is seriously getting more and more interesting! i like the wide vocabulary range, thats ALWAYS a good thing. it keeps the details of the story defined and its easier to understand and relate to. one word of advice; i think you should make your chapters alittle longer. other then that your doing awesome! :P
| steph135 chapter 3 . 7/12/2012
hey im liking this more and more as i read along. i think it's really interesting! i have never read anything like it before but i guess thats a good thing; it means its original. moving on to next chapter :P
| arbaaz chapter 6 . 6/11/2012
hi i read this hole sotry. i like it alot it is fun and not borring it is intristing. pleaz rite moar quikly i ned it. pople theenk i are weird i reed theez stoariz all the tiim. no speak english in a vary wel. i is sory i caant halp u vary mulch. i was reed and rightd this on the toylet.
| steph135 chapter 1 . 5/6/2012
hey nice job! there were some grammar mistakes but other than that it was pretty good. i liked the discription and the way yu portray the character's thoughts :)
| Jessica Bird chapter 1 . 3/16/2012
This is good Corey i would carry on :D xxx
| JonnoxD chapter 1 . 3/12/2012
I'm sensing that James is a very complex character, and I'm looking forward to finding out the problems he probably had in his past lives which attribute to his psychological problems.
I'm hoping there is some sort of plot twist involving james being a cowboy and a visit with the kidnapper and james up in a tent in the mountains.
Maybe his parents are actually zombies that tried to kill him in a car crash to eat his flesh but he got away.
If you could give us a in-depth description on what each character looks like, like a paragraph each, it will make it easier for readers to fantasize over the characters and make it a much more enjoyable experience.
If you could also bring in like these dolls that look like real humans, but are actually plastic, and people have them instead of actual people as their boyfriend/girlfriend, I think it would really add depth to the story arc.
| Ladiesmanesteban12 chapter 1 . 3/12/2012
Wow. This story is one of the most compelling and heartwarming stories I have ever read. It made me cry more than when I cried during Toy Story 3. When James was sitting in the car I was worried for him. I stayed up thinking about that situation all night. When he got kidnapped it reminded me of that time in college when I got really drunk and woke up tied to a flagpole. Poor guy my heart goes out to him. You sir are the next Stephenie Meyers.
| James Stevens chapter 4 . 2/23/2012
I laughed when I saw the dumbass part, I'm happy it finally came and I really liked it :)
| James Stevens chapter 1 . 2/9/2012
You must make more