Reviews for Lines of Scrimmage
OhGoodnessMarie chapter 1 . 8/7/2013
Well, it's official- I love Quan and Derik. I spent a fair amount of time reading all of the stuff you've written for them so far and I love them. So much. They're cute yet complicated, and affectionate yet... have girlfriends... and I love how I can go in and read any individual one shot without having to read the others, because each one is a complete story on it's own. I like that you took such a different approach and wrote them separately instead of trying to convert it into one big story. Honestly, I like looking into snapshots of their lives instead of going through a long chapter-by-chapter, play-by-play of everything that they do. I'd probably just get more mad at their girlfriends for being around. :p But within a handful of one shots, you managed to create these deep, fun characters that I want to know more and more about. I love your writing so much and I hope you have more Derik and Quan in store. (:
ImmanenceEnsured chapter 1 . 6/18/2013
This is really painful, but I love these two. Derik i and you're not afraid to show it. That's cool. Quan is digging his own hole but yeah, love and all that. I can't review yet because I've no clue how this is going to end, but I'll read all of it then give you my thoughts in a nice, lengthy review, alright? Your writing is brilliant. Loved the girlfriend, girl friend, ex-girlfriend - boy friend part:)
Overthinker chapter 1 . 4/13/2013
I love love love these characters, and your writing. You're so talented. I really like the metaphor :). Also, that scene was super steamy. :D
GossamerSilverglow chapter 1 . 3/13/2013
I’ve never understood football, but I’m not opposed to watching it, as long as it’s in real life and not on television. All the same, you lost me with the information about it. Derik has a girlfriend. *Scoffs* oh that cheating scumbag. I thought that little detail was going to damper my enjoyment of the fic, I’ve actually walked out of a movie before because of the cheating. I stuck with it though and damn. I had to fan myself. Then you had to go and mention Chloe. I’m glad Quan feels bad about this, because it is not okay to do what they’re doing if they’re dating someone else. Cheaters should be beaten with a bat.
moon-skittles chapter 1 . 11/23/2012
Awwww so sad. Nice portrayal of Derik here. I enjoy how thoughtless he can be. It only get's a bit too much when he cums all over Quan's face and then is a total jackass about it. I mean... that's... wow. Derik seems to me like he's not intentionally mean, he just doesn't think. That one little scene seemed a little bit excessive, unless Derik is intentionally pushing Quan away emotionally.
Quan's complete submissiveness irks me slightly in this one, but it's not unrealistic.

["You're mad," he asses point blank] Did you really mean "asses" here? Doesn't make sense to me.
Persevera chapter 1 . 11/8/2012
["You're mad," he asses point blank]-assesses?
Something tells me they're going to lose the game. This premise is fun but implausible. It doesn't seem likely that two players could isolate themselves from the team, not to mention their coach, for the entire halftime, or, for that matter, eat a hot dog and pizza. I thought their relationship was supposed to be realistic. If so, shouldn't the setting be also?
I like the conflict developing between them. While still so attracted to each other, they're beginning to want different things. It will be interesting to see what concessions Derik is willing to make for Quan.
AvionRoe chapter 1 . 7/23/2012
Okay, so I was sitting in my room, thinking; I wonder if this human being has made any other stories (ADD victim! I was supposed to be working on my FF!) So la-di-da, I go to your profile and see FIVE GAZILLION stories! (It's a free country. I'm allowed to exaggerate :P lol)
Why I chose this one first? I clicked on something random, and this was sexy, and once again your amazing writing abilities proved themselves, but kinda sad... I wanna punch Derik... but *sighs* because you're making more for them, I will learn to love him. But only because I'll feel hypocritical if I don't. (Long story short; my story involving an OC, who one of my FF friends wants to see explode, and refuses to even like the character) Again, I will learn to love Derik if I must *sighs and mock pouts*
Snow Whites Poison Kiss
CloudsOfRabbits chapter 1 . 3/23/2012
I was really excited to see these characters used again because I very much liked "Three Strikes". I found the comparison of football and relationships totally perfect for this story. Also the repetition of it at the end fit well for the conclusion. What really shocked me though was the added drama of them both having girlfriends. That was unexpected but made things even more interesting. And about that, I really liked how Quan handled his jealousy. He doesn't just sit and watch it and seethe about Lorene's visit to the bench. His reaction was, what I feel, a lot more believable and appropriate for his character and the whole situation in general.

Anyway, I can't wait to read more of these two.
angkay81 chapter 1 . 3/4/2012
please do make it into a series until they come and realize they are meant to be afterall. :)
kadabrafreak890 chapter 1 . 1/14/2012
Aw man, this is amazing. "Cool your heels Mulan. Don't get your kimono in a knot." My favorite line. So golden.

You are an amazing writer. My mental movie was playing out perfectly.

Nice work. :D
Annie chapter 1 . 12/28/2011
...

Wow, holy shit, that was so much more than just... Wow. Color me impressed as fuck. Seriously.

I read Three Strikes and I was like, oh cool, hot football players getting it on and dealing with starting a relationship and stuff. Let me go read summmore of that hot mess. And then I got to this and was like oh shit, character depth and awesomeness stuffed in a ONE SHOT that has some excellent writing.

So I am definitely off to go read more of your stories right now and hey look at that, there are some pretty lovely stories right there for me to look at, so thank you very much in advance.

Also, can I just say how much I loved the "Kimonos are Japanese, not Chinese" because that line was so great. Like, you don't have to spend ages describing everything about Quan in some sort of meaningless chatter but you get to reveal something that's important to him in a completely relevant manner... Let's just say I loved it and I love your writing and I'm going to go off and enjoy myself some more now.
Ibbit chapter 1 . 12/14/2011
This was less cute and more amusing. So very amusing. And true. Stupid philosophy inside a smutty fic. How dare you.

So this was as good as the first one. Even if it did contain a bunch of football terms and references that I know nothing of. *sigh* Onto your third installment!

Luck with all

ibbit
Raaawr Ima Dinosaur chapter 1 . 12/2/2011
Aww poor Quan :( It sucks that he can't just be with Derik because of social norms and such. Looking forward to more of there two :)
DawnSister chapter 1 . 11/25/2011
Another good one. I enjoyed it. They are a complicated couple aren't they?
Animefanatic96 chapter 1 . 11/20/2011
Nicely written, a smut like story that also has a touch of realisticness :) Great job
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