|Reviews for Humanity in Her Hands|
| A. Nonymous1234 chapter 2 . 12/18/2012
It's sad this story has only three reviews! You've clearly put a lot of effort into this story. It's well written, very descriptive, and flows smoothly. I'll admit, it is a little confusing with all the Anima and word breaks, but that's just me. I'm not sure I get this stuff. Good job though, I'll be reading more later!
| Vernelley chapter 1 . 11/21/2012
Interesting concept so far; there are a lot of series about a new dominant species as of a certain point in the future so it'll be interesting to see how you handle this and make it original.
I'd just like to point out a discrepancy between your summary and the beginning of this chapter; the summary says the story is set in 2018 but the actual chapter says 2008. It might be something you need to edit.
I'm not sure how well the setup of the prologue seems to work. The scene in italics is all dialogue and reads rather like a script. That isn't necessarily a bad thing as sometimes less is more, especially in the case of a prologue. The formatting however can be a bit jarring.
I would also suggest adjusting some parts of the writing in the narration before that scene; some parts are fine if there's an omniscient narrator, but things such as 'the following scene is the aftermath' have too strong an authorial voice.
In my opinion, the best solution would be to use the narrative voice to convey the information about the setting while integrating the information about Miasa and the girl into an actual scene. Adding narration would also help offset the balance of the chapter since the only important information here is given in dialogue. If these things are already addressed in the next chapters, this chapter may not be that necessary as a prologue.
As for the last part, it reads too much like a trailer or advertisement. For a summary or advertisement outside of the story, it would be fine, but since this is the story itself, I'm not sure that something like this is necessary. Think of prologues in books you've read and use those as a reference point.
via the Roadhouse
| Swallow-tailed Kite chapter 12 . 6/15/2012
Good job so far :D
| Sayaxchihiya chapter 1 . 11/25/2011
The plot (from what I can figure) seems really interesting, which is good.
I understand that I am to ask you if I don't know what's going on in this chapter/summary/prologue, but if this ever gets published, the reader can't go up and ask you. I needs to be able to stand on its own.
You use the word "anime" is that a typo of Anima, a plural of Anima, or a reference to literal anime (like the cartoons)? Also, if you don't mean anime in the literal sense, it could make the story feel a little silly to use a word that already means something to mean something completely different with the story.
Is this set in Japan? I noticed that the characters have Japanese names, but if this story does not take place in Japan, that makes the names a little bit silly in my view. It's your own story. Make your own names! You don't have to follow a certain nationality. Have fun with it!