Reviews for The Bleachers |
---|
![]() ![]() This is a cute little story. I totally like Tyler. He was so cute in the beginning. I like when he's saying all the sports he plays. Well, adiós! |
![]() ![]() ![]() No one more thing would be having their first baby conceived on those bleachers. ;D |
![]() ![]() ![]() god dis is one of d stry where wen i am sad i gone cum back nd re-read it its AWESUM :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() That was cute! Tyler is adorable and Emma is perfect. I love their relationship and how amazing they are together :D |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh my _, that was so good! I think my brain just had a cute overload. 3 |
![]() ![]() ![]() I nearly melted as I read this. :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Mrp. Im gonna go cry now. SO FRICKIN CUTE |
![]() ![]() ![]() Awwwwwwwww alskdfj; a that was so sweet! Oh man I feel all warm and fuzzy now. I think my favorite part was when she tried to break up with him before college and he wouldn't let her. Gah so adorable and well written :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow. It's been a while since I read a story as CUTE as this! xD Amazing, I love how it turned out, and the story of how their relationship is connected to the place where they met. Keep it up! :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great Story :D Loved it from begining to end :D It's completely adorable and they are a totally loveable couple! That's so good how you did the proposal thing at the end :D LOVED IT! asheepiage. |
![]() ![]() ![]() 3333 you just made my day even more. I'm serious. I am ridicuously (i don't think I spelled that right..) happy right now! 3333333333 - Bookworm67 |
![]() ![]() ![]() Very sweet! I didn't spot any grammatical errors except for the following, which is definitely something to get excited about: "Well, Coach," Tyler began, "I play basketball, tennis, baseball, and I swim. But soccer is my favorite for sure." It should be 'Tyler began.' with a period, instead of a comma. Speaking of which, Tyler, for the most part, came alive for me, which I thought was a smashing good job on your part. However, the narrator, Emma Mercer, didn't strike me particularly. She sort of faded into background, even though we're mostly seeing it through her eyes. I was compelled to read mostly because of Tyler, not because of any insight on her part. I felt that her romance with Tyler was more of a case of telling, not showing. I think what you should do is try to show examples of why she likes/loves Tyler. Any important incidents occur? Life-changing revelations? Speaking of which, there should be more build-up for huge events like a potential break-up or a fight. It seemed like things mostly just happened; I didn't really feel any tension or suspense. I understand that this was a one shot and that there were limitations, but with just a little tweaking this could be much better. And you won't even add much length! Anyway, I thought that this was a fairly cute story. However, with a few tweaks, you could definitely bring it to a whole 'notha level (if you could forgive the MadTV reference). |
![]() ![]() ![]() This was so cute! Made me really grin! |
![]() ![]() ![]() That was sweet. I liked Tyler's character. He wasn't shallow, unlike other popular guys in high school. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Über super sweet! |