|Reviews for Trouble and Treasure
| Juneaux chapter 2 . 12/4/2011
I'm such a sucker for stories involving treasure maps :)
I liked this chapter because it brought us back from the frenetic pace of the first one and provided a bit of story. Still so many questions - and foreshadowing!
| Juneaux chapter 1 . 12/4/2011
Ugh, this story has barely started an already it's fantastic! I have no idea how you manage to continuously write up these awesome story lines. I'm actually kind of envious!
Anyway, I love how this one started and just went right into the action. I'm glad that you just threw us in and let us flounder around a bit trying to figure out what was going on. So many questions that need answering!
| Guest chapter 2 . 11/25/2011
Ooh, flashback. While I do like the fact that we get to see her and find out why she's at her grandfather's house I'm itching to know what happened when she ran back into the house so this was kind of frustrating for me.
Glad to see your descriptions are back;
[There were cobwebs hanging from the once-rich velvet curtains like vines clogging around a tree deep in some untouched jungle.]
[You could be excused for thinking that the state of this house had perfectly reflected the state of the owner; towards the end, gramps' mind must have been like a quagmire of various memories and impressions, all subdued under a suffocating layer of could-have-been and never-weres.]
Really nice. That first paragraph actually really made it great to envision the room and there was a section where she mentioned having to dodge around a pile of magazines that subtly added to the way I was seeing the room without it being a huge dump of information.
I do enjoy her voice and seeing her when she's not in fight or flight situation, lol. She seems really content despite what she says about wanting to have some adventures of her own, this definitely seems like it's about to be a case of be careful what you wish for.
I do think it's weird that she keeps mentioning how much of a hippy she is. I think that would be better presented through the way she behaves and how she thinks then her telling us she's free spirited.
Also, when you upload your stories en masse like that, since I have you on author alerts I get a message for every upload. I woke up this morning to 120 new messages and only five weren't from fictionpress, lol.
In regards to other sites you can upload too; allows you to post your novels on there but I don't know if it gets the kind of traffic amazon does or if it takes as big of a chunk out of your royalties. But since they were taking a percentage does that mean you were getting some new readers/buyers? congrats on that even if it didn't work out the way you wanted.
I would love it if you could try and finish that one story about the girl who gets a comatose soldier put into her mind and in dangerous situations he takes over. Even if it's just the concept and not the very same idea I found the whole idea awesome even if you lost steam for it.
Also would love something with an awkward/geeky female lead and the hunk who likes her back. Even if the hunk might be a bit sulky [a la Abby the Witch], it was a nice theme you handled really well, especially seeing these girls come into their own, save the day and get the man and the change was believable.
| jammi chapter 1 . 11/23/2011
It never fails, lol, I have assignments due and you post a new story, lol. I tried to be productive yesterday and wait until I had done my assignment to give it a read but this thing is taking too long, lmao.
If my review seems a bit choppy it's because I'm trying to hit all the main points quickly.
So first off, yayyy new story! This is a really interesting beginning. I think this is one of the first stories where we don't get to 'meet' the main character before the action starts.
I think you do a good job of setting up her character although I did have a 'just run!' moment when she was arguing with the hero when she was aware that people with guns who were no where near as nice were coming for her, lol.
I do like that her reactions were realistic because in theory I'm all 'run in a zig zag fashion, he won't be able to hit you!' lmao, when people are greeted by a strange man with a gun but in real life you would freeze.
I really liked the way she saved herself and that she was good because SWOT had showed up only to wind up in a worse situation.
I am curious as to why no one actually bid on the map if it was up for auction?I mean, they all know what it is apparently you'd think they would have started a bidding war instead of waiting for her to bring it back home and then break into her house.
I understand why she ran back to the house but I think that's like women who run upstairs in horror movies. It's not safer that way! You just put yourself in a difficult situation to get out of.
As usual love your ability to set the scene, although I think this chapter was actually pretty sparse on some of the imagery set ups that you usually use it worked really well since I could see the scene clearly and it fit the tone of the story.
K, gonna go back to being productive and I'll read chapter two tomorrow since I have a few days between assignments. glad you're back, hopefully this one will continue to work until the end, lol.
| fairy Eva chapter 1 . 11/23/2011
A NEW ONE! Oh wowzers. You can't give up on this one. Seriously. I love the explosion of action from the very beginning, and I'd really like to find out more about the characters. Amanda and Sebastian, was it? Awesome. I hope you'll be updating this one soon!
| un chien andalusia chapter 1 . 11/22/2011
It's always excellent news when an alert drops into my mailbox with a new story of yours.
I don't know how you manage to pull out plots and funny situations out of the air, but you have done it again. Very very intriguing first chappie.
Can't wait to see how it unfolds.
Sorry to hear about Amazon not working out. You should be hired in Hollywood - your stories certainly are way more entertaining than the stuff they churn out.
| Bubbly Girl chapter 1 . 11/22/2011
Super intriguing! :) I just wanted to point out that in the US the word "artefact" is actually spelled "artifact". I don't know if you spell it differently where you are but I just wanted to let you know! :) I can't wait for the next chapter! :)
Peace, Love and Happiness! :)