|Reviews for Lucidius Obscurus|
| Vernelley chapter 2 . 12/1/2011
The writing is good so far. In terms of the actual plot, though, I'm finding it a bit of a stretch that Shuichiko seems so familiar with magic she contracted less than a day ago. Not only in terms of how she uses her powers, but her knowledge of its conventions and so forth. Even if she seems intelligent, I still find it a bit too rushed for her to believe and be comfortable with a new discovery like this so quickly.
I wonder if the allure of stolen money will lead to anything in the future. Something tells me it might. And the ending was quite interesting, in that the conspiracy problem was brought up.
| Vernelley chapter 1 . 11/24/2011
I found that for a start it was fairly solid characterisation for Shuichiko, which is good, because we can establish her personality before moving on to other key points.
So far it seems like a typical beginning to a story of the Magical Girl genre, but from your summary I'm curious as to how it'll be different, especially after having Shuichiko characterised in the chapter.
Only problem was probably the length, for a starting chapter, but that's mainly because I'm used to shorter chapters working as introductions. Apart from that, some of the paragraphs are pretty much walls of text that become difficult to read.
Content wise, however, there are no real issues apparent to me, and this is off to an interesting start.