Reviews for Smitten
ohsnapples chapter 5 . 11/30/2011
Aww Kierran is so cute! I can't tell who I like better! Lol Aidan was such a jerk in this chapter! For the moment I'm rooting for Kierran. I hope she can explain the situation to him! :)
TheEvergreenShadow chapter 5 . 11/30/2011
Ooo, fun drama! I can't wait to see where this goes! Evil Aiden :O
Nephythys chapter 5 . 11/30/2011
Hey, I'm really likin' this story! Please update sooner, it's pretty good.

:D

Cheerio
Snowflake Bunny chapter 5 . 11/30/2011
You're really good at changing my mind...

Now I think I like Tori and Keirran better. Aidan is so mean! Anyway, update soon!
Snowflake Bunny chapter 4 . 11/29/2011
Awesome chappie! Now I can't decide who I like better. Aidan with Tori or Keirran (is that spelt right?) with Tori. I was kind of suspecting that Aidan/Lexi twin thing. Update soon!
yasnky chapter 4 . 11/29/2011
hi therei'm a new reader of yours..i knew it lexi's brother is aidan..can't wait what will happen on their so called date..i hope my mom is like that ..hahahaha:)))
ohsnapples chapter 4 . 11/29/2011
Aww I so knew he was her brother! Thats so funny with her mom setting her up for that date! I could see my mom doing that! Lol can't wait to see what will happen with Kierran! :D
Snowflake Bunny chapter 3 . 11/29/2011
This is awesome! I definitely think you have a lot of potential. I really love the background you give your characters. It lets us readers relate to them more. I hope to read more from you soon!
hearts a heavy burden x chapter 2 . 11/27/2011
hi love the story so far. can't wait till the next update :)
Nephythys chapter 1 . 11/27/2011
Nice chapter! I liked your summary for 'Smitten' too. The story seems interesting, and I want to read more of it!

Oh and thanks for adding my story 'The Survival Guide' on your favorites' list. Thanks for reading my story!

Keep updating.

:D
EleemosynarySilence chapter 1 . 11/26/2011
Not bad, so far...It sounds simple so far but I'm sure it will have it's complexities soon. That is the fun of being a writer... nobody knows what's next except you. ;D

Just one thing: I do recommend you split your paragraphs. For example, in your beginning paragraph, you have the dialogue right inside the paragraph of your character's escapades(using escapades as a lack of a better term)...

(i.e): "The shrill beeping of an alarm clock disturbed me from my deep slumber. I groaned and pressed the snooze button, but not five minutes after that, my mom started screaming bloody murder from the bottom of the stairs. "Tori, get down here in 10 minutes or I'm coming up there myself!" I rolled over in my bed..."

It could be written as:

The shrill beeping of an alarm clock disturbed me from my deep slumber. I groaned and pressed the snooze button, but not five minutes after that, my mom started screaming bloody murder from the bottom of the stairs.

"Tori, get down here in 10 minutes or I'm coming up there myself!" I rolled over in my bed..."

{Its up to you whether to put your main characters thoughts right after her mother's dialogue. Its only peculiar because her mother isn't the one saying the thoughts}

I'm only nitpicking about this because it can get confusing if you have all the dialogue slushed throughout the regular explanations of stories. It will make your eyes cross after awhile...

Just my two cents. Hope to see more!
stormfanatic chapter 1 . 11/26/2011
im excited to see where this story goes : )
Chola13 chapter 1 . 11/26/2011
It sounds really good.. cant wait to see what happens x
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