|Reviews for Law of Proximity|
| no-ones-puppet chapter 1 . 12/1/2011
Classic I secretly love you yet I'll act like I hate you story. :) reminds me of elementary school only with stronger emotions. It's kind of funny how some people never grow out of that phase. :) anyways this was really adorable. I love the snarky comments that Zack made, and the innuendos flying between Darcy and him was entertaining. I felt so confused when it came to the two best friends though, because I couldn't tell how they knew each other... They were always just suddenly THERE and then they'd be gone again. By the end of the story it was obvious but while reading I had to keep going what the hell! Oh and the guy that Zack was having problems with at work... Yeah not important. I would've left him out entirely, or just mention the problem, don't actually write a conversation with him... But yeah I liked it. :D
| doesn't matter chapter 1 . 11/29/2011
very cool. liked how it played it. the more you wrote, the better it got. good job
| urtenshii chapter 1 . 11/26/2011
Hot definitely :) Not only your characters but also the way you told your story. I adore your plot. The sexual tension between the two main characters was almost tangible. It was really interesting to read how their story unraveled. Also, it was fun in some way.
I think that you should go through the story one more. There were some sentences that were missing some words and there were other few that were grammatically incorrect. But all in all? It was a hell of a story :) You could really feel the intense emotion between the two of them.
Just take some time and read through it. If you manage to edit it, I'm sure the results would greatly improve the totality of the story.
Keep on Writing ! :)