|Reviews for Battle Cry|
| non.graceful chapter 1 . 2/7/2012
Multiple interpretations on this.
It's as if they're staying alive just to hold onto each other. He's the one that wants to let go but will only do so when she finally has enough... Yet she wants to make him understand that he is needed where she is and where the earth is alive.
Then there's the supernatural interpretation- werewolves at war... A pack member or pair fighting together to overpower the other side and when it's almost over and they've almost won, here comes another course they have to overcome- themselves.
'our fates intertwined like Fingers', doesn't give off a strong relationship to the two. Fingers or joined hands can easily be disconnected, yet it's the will and power of two people holding each other in place that counts. What I like about that is that it isn't a cliche approach to fate or the future... Writers usually use something that they've heard before or read in a story that is not their own.
'cold fingers outstretched as we ran', my imagination, as absurd as it is, pictures ghost like hands reaching out and trying to suck the life out of the personas. Like in Hercules where they're in the underworld and the dead groan and... If you haven't seen Herculees watch it! Great movie that you have to see... :)
I keep on thinking of possible reasons as to why you capitalised 'Nightmare', 'Blood', 'Storm' and 'Forrest'... Is it because they are actual obstacles that they need to pass or is it because you wanted to emphasise the words?
Ha! A long ass comment! My apologies!
| sickfawn chapter 1 . 12/21/2011
Cryings fun, cryings good, crying is letting go of something that doesn't deserve you, tears are regrets we all should lose :)
| Gravind Divine chapter 1 . 12/19/2011
this was... unbelievable
im still astounded
it is amazing
| IDreamOfLullaby's chapter 1 . 12/16/2011
this was amazing!. i love your writing. :P this was so sad and just overall awesome
| Meadow Frost chapter 1 . 12/16/2011
Oh you're really good. I'm jealous.
| Ivy Devi chapter 1 . 12/11/2011
Well, it sounds very good but I'm not really sure what it' about. It might help to make it a bit more spacific.
| Lain Sheehan chapter 1 . 12/7/2011
Hello again, The first thing I feel when I read this is a hardship and confusion. It's very much in the first few lines "Get to the point quickly" And I like that because it's raw emotion and it allows me to understand that confusion and pain that's portrayed from this poem. I also love the use of "in...and out..." I don't know if you meant it intentionally, but what it means to me is that it shows the last two breaths that're savoured before the chap dies and also the word "out" could be seen as out of life almost, I don't even know if that makes sense but you get me ha. It's really beautiful AppleCrumble... Extremely touching :) xxx (No nose! :O)
| Eden Green chapter 1 . 12/3/2011
This is really well written, and I enjoyed reading this. The line however 'Yet not once did I let go of your hand' would flow better without the yet, and the following line after it has a bit too many commas. The same goes with 'And then we breathed' if you remove the And. Well done!
| DougieM chapter 1 . 12/2/2011
I love this. I like the last couple of lines, everything's catching up with the speaker.
| BookcraZzaY chapter 1 . 11/30/2011
This is so sad
IT'S poetically amazing
But it still has a sad vibe
I love it though :D
| BuddingPoet chapter 1 . 11/29/2011
as always...GENUS! i don't even know why you ask me to read them. you're an excellent writer!
| J112011 chapter 1 . 11/29/2011
I like it, but to be quite honest, I'm not sure I understand you correctly. A lot of what you said seems to have several meanings. At first I was wondering whether it's about two people whose lives ended at the same time. The first person died of a gun shot wound, either self inflicted or not. The second... I'm not sure. But then I was thinking it's about two people who together were trying to escape the "nightmares". The last bit... I was wondering whether the narrator (I) cried when the other person died. I'm not sure... It's nice, though. Keep writing.
| Dark Blue Lover chapter 1 . 11/28/2011
I like this one, in a way. Sad but deep. Love the imagery 3
"Our fates intertwined like fingers"
"Then you let go, in favour of the metal"
"And then we breathed… In … and out… And then, and only then could I cry." Wow. So beautiful
Great job! Keep writing :-)
| InsaneGreenWriter chapter 1 . 11/27/2011
Wow. That was really good. I liked it a lot. I know people usually give constructive criticism in reviews but I really can't and even if I did know something about poetry, I still think I would like this one a lot.
| DolceDesiderio chapter 1 . 11/27/2011
Wow, you are very creative in writing! I could actually feel the emotions in this poem. I could see blood, tears... maybe sweat. But still! I really liked how this poem is written. Good job for you! :)