Reviews for Needless Things
J.K. Weaver chapter 1 . 1/9/2013
I have to say I am genuinely impressed. This is insanely good. (Not that I would ever doubt someone's talents, but you know how some stories can be on here) at first glance I thought this was the same as a Stephen King book I once read except, (nothing against King) this is good haha. I do love sell your soul stories and have been looking for one to rival The Devil Went Down To Georgia for a while now. you may have that beat sir. I tip my hat to you.
Jax Creation chapter 1 . 12/23/2011
Hello from the Roadhouse *waves* Loved the idea for this story (very xxxHolic), so I thought I'd check it out. And I do love the principle of equivalent exchange, watched a lot of FMA when I was younger. Anyway, very food chapter, a nice light read. _ Trader is very likeable; she seems cheerful and bubbly - held back only by the rules of the shop.

"Welcome, dear guest, to my Bazaar of the Bizarre, Shop of the Strange, Emporium of the Extraordinary, Market of the Mystifying, Gallery of the—oh. It's you." - haha, I really liked ths bit, I can imagine the mystifying tone and the somber look on her have only to have it fall apart. Good line, mate, good line.

"Professor Plum" hehe. Kudos for Cluedo reference.

Trader put her pointer fingers to her mouth, and made little fangs with them, but the good doctor just shook his head. - ahaha, can just imagine it. _ I do like the way you work in those little bits of humour!

Anyway, some things to point out:

"someone to buy someone" O_O - [something]?

"it technically didn't normally exist spatially" - lots of "ly"s there, maybe "it technically didn't exist in normal space?"

"Nothing is given without something else being taken. " - Shouldn't this be in past tense to remain consistent with the rest of the story?

, "Friend." - no comma, no caps

"There really is a sucker born every minute." no caps on [there]

Great job, I really enjoyed it. _

~ Jax C.
Inkspilled chapter 1 . 12/5/2011
"it technically didn't normally exist spatially" - a lot of 'lly' words there, perhaps picking just technically or normally instead of using both.

"a language incompressible" incomprehensible

"where not his own, where not words" -were, where denotes a place.

So, overall very interesting. To be honest, I was a little disappointed when I found out that man was a vampire, it took away a lot of the curiosity and imagination from guessing. The idea of a shop like this is very interesting, though. Another issue would be that there was a lack of description, of setting or events. Although it wasn't a big problem. I liked the ending and how it wrapped everything up, with a hint of mystery and leaves us questioning.

There were a few unoriginal details here and there such as the girl's composure and dress code. Either a lot of pink or all black seemed to black and white and unrealistic. Also, the background of the girl seems interesting, knowing that she signed a contract to be where she is now. Greater character development could help us to empathize with her.

Overall, interesting concept. I liked it. :)
Dollseye chapter 1 . 12/4/2011
Short and ... more intoxicating than sweet.

The darkly humorous and witty dialogue, combined with the way you bring out the atmosphere of the setting is something to adore.

I find this an interesting take on the 'equal exchange' deal- it treats the horrors that ensue for what they are, but doesn't exaggerate it.

The ending makes one think as well, and personally it was something that forced a smile.
Coburn chapter 1 . 11/29/2011
"Shopkeeper Trader was bored" isn't the best way to start off the story in my opinion. Overall, it was great! Original and interesting, I liked your style of writing. :)
Lonnee chapter 1 . 11/28/2011
Loved this! :D Continue pleeeease!
Lonnee chapter 1 . 11/28/2011
Loved this! :D Continue pleeeease!