|Reviews for bruised knuckles|
| Little girl Big world chapter 8 . 7/15/2013
i understand the feeling. knowing that what you're experiencing is something you won't forget but not knowing how you'll feel looking back on it. excellent work!
| Little girl Big world chapter 7 . 7/15/2013
i've been there...you put it into words really nicely
| Little girl Big world chapter 6 . 7/15/2013
i like how the 4th line is all broken up with periods, nice touch.
and then the final line us just perfect.
the more i read of this collection the more i fall in love with it.
| Little girl Big world chapter 5 . 7/15/2013
wow. well written.
| Little girl Big world chapter 4 . 7/15/2013
wow first of all i like the title and how it ties in and almost completes or adds more to the poem. and the last line is just breath taking. i really like your style!
| Little girl Big world chapter 3 . 7/15/2013
i relate "I never thought I had a problem with my temper (she's so quiet and levelheaded!)"
| Little girl Big world chapter 2 . 7/15/2013
oh i love this and i understand so completely. and the way you phrased it "temporary suicide" so dark but beautiful.
| Little girl Big world chapter 1 . 7/15/2013
interesting start. i'm hooked
| JustAnotherNewbie chapter 2 . 3/26/2013
Um. I relate to this sososo much. Favourite.
| The Wind Poet chapter 1 . 10/12/2012
| The Autumn Queen chapter 20 . 9/14/2012
I like the repetition of "everyone" because it gives a sense of relatedness, of generality and of empericality as well. I don't like the third like because it seems to stretch a little compared to the others; I think a line break would be good there.
I love the sentiment in this. Sad, but unfortunately true. People change. Relationships become weaker; people drift apart. It's sad.
Ohana from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
| The Autumn Queen chapter 19 . 9/14/2012
I think that your first line could benefit from a comma after "well" because otherwise it just vanishes into the sentence and seems a little useless. It almost reminded me of the other well, but it's the wrong context for that. In any case, I think the comma would help give it meaning.
I also don't quite like the second line because it comes out a little emotionless/flat. I think you could easily reword it to make it much more poweful.
| The Autumn Queen chapter 18 . 9/14/2012
I like how the "ever" stands on its own like that because it nicely emphasises the relative balance of expectations and emotions and a percieved reality, particularly since you've put it almost dead centre of the poem. I don't like the word-mincing in this because it lowers the emotional effect of the piece.
Crush leading up to love huh...or trouble. :)
| The Autumn Queen chapter 17 . 9/14/2012
I like how you've written this without punctuation because it does a good job reinforcing the rawness of this piece. I think though you should have had a stanza break between the third and fourth lines because the italics doesn't, I think, do enough to reinforce/"bold" that last line. It's not so directly related to the first three that it needs to be in the same stanza.
| The Autumn Queen chapter 16 . 9/14/2012
I don't like the line [Did you have fun last night?] because it's a bit stand-outish. Does it relate to the messages? is it one? Or a question from the narrator? It's a little odd the way it is; the second has more of a leadup.
I like the ending though because it's a nice sentiment, an allusion to a certainty many people doubt even exist, but in this case the absence of that existence means something else entirely.
Ohana from the review marathon (link in profile)